Hold My Beer and Watch This...!

Ah, tornado season in Oklahoma.

I'm sitting here watching the local news channel issue a tornado warning...I'm actually watching one forming on the news right in front of me.

"Zoom in! Zoom in! Zoom in!!!"

"Tornado on the ground, debris in the air!!!!'

"Tornado is on the ground!"

"Go to the chopper...Jim in in the Channel 4 Helicopter...tell us what you see!"

"It's beginning to tornado near El Reno!"

...sound of thunder drawing closer to Casa del Armenia

A rope tornado forms on the tv in front of me. Debris beginning to stir in a field....not near a town yet, but it's REALLY close to one....

"It's growing from Chopper 4 here....could drop a very large tornado, Mike....this is happening on live TV right here from Chopper 4, Mike!"

The trunk of the tornado is getting thicker. The tornado is shifting toward I-40, and probably lots of traffic...it's still in farmland at this time...

cow!

another cow!

I think that was the same cow...

Hmm...they just mentioned NW Expressway....not good. The wife's parents live near there....

The wife just called her mother and told her to turn on the TV.

Only a weak F1 rope, but it's inching closer to I-40....

"Oh my god, it's crazy! Funnel tornado on the ground, Mike....150-180mph winds...."

"another tornado is forming just south of the firs one...golf ball size hail coming out of this super cell...."

"No rope down, but you can see churning dust....see a small cone coming out of the clouds...starting to really churn, I can see a lot of dirt now....we've got two areas we've gotta worry about now Mike...."

"The original one disspated, Mike....the second one is getting strong faster...very close to El Reno Airport..."

I'm watching as this second tornado is heading toward a building at the airport....I'm thinking this hangar is toast.....

Here it goes.....

The roof is gone...sucking it right up in the air...just took the hangars out....

Ate it whole....

Freakin' amazing to watch....

Heading toward a large pond now....

"Starting to dissipate....still churning up ground, there's a farm close by...if people are listening, take your tornado precautions now...."


garbled broadcast from David Payne...we can see his car in the shot from Chopper 4....

Here goes some storage tanks.....right over top of them....the tanks survive.....

Into a field now....still on the ground, but dissipating....

more thunder at the homestead, just for effect, I think....

"Just south of El Reno, there's a hook echo....so if you live around Union City, take your tornado precautions..."


...And so it goes....


I love this time of year. It's the only place I've ever lived where the weather is a spectator sport. Tonight, the storms are headed our way, and, hopefully, we'll dodge the bullet again...but, it's only late April...May is the worst month for tornadoes in Oklahoma. And, it's shaping up to be an active year...


-la

The wife's parents just called and they're grabbing their cat leaving their house and coming to find refuge here until this thing blows over. It's gonna be a wild ride. Hope they get out in time....

Weather is here, wish you were beautiful

Today was a reminder that we live in what used to be the dust bowl. Spring time in Oklahoma is interesting. The weather is extremely unstable and today's was no exception. In addition to the high winds, severe thunderstorms, and tornadoes, we had dust storms and more fires. The pics below show the brown haze in the atmosphere from all the dust. Yuck. It's like L.A.'s smog on steroids. Yeah, that bad.

I drove through this crap and you could see the dust in the car. Figures, too, since I just got the ol' chariot cleaned.

Ah, good times.

-la

The Suspect

As anyone who reads this blog knows, I have a
new son...new in the sense that he's 4 months
old and still in the probationary delicate
phase. Once he moves past this phase
(starting about age 6 months or so) then I get
to start doing all those cool Dad things like
throw the kid up in the air and actually even
catch him sometimes.

But that, in all it's fun, could be the
underlying reason why women view men as these
big, clumsy creatures who aren't capable of
the subtleties of child rearing. The other
day, for example, I took my new kiddo to his
daycare and I picked him up from there after
work. A typical day in the Life of Lex.

However, every time I do this, I get the sense
that all the women that work in the place (and
it's always women, never men...not even the
Brokeback Mountain kind) are watching me as if
I'm suddenly going to do A REALLY BAD THING
like drop the baby on his head or something.
When I walk in the door with him, you can
actually see them move to the edges of their
seats, ready to spring into some kind of
hazy-focus slow motion action sequence where
they're yelling a deep-pitched "NOOOOOOOOOO"
as they run to stop me from doing the REALLY
BAD THING.

Of course, I've seen this before. We all do
it. Don't think so? Try letting your wife or
girlfriend play a game of Quake 3 Arena or
UT2K4 for 5 minutes while you sit and watch
over her shoulder.

Ok, now try the same experiment again. This
time you aren't allowed to say anything.

How'd that work for ya? How's the old blood
pressure? High, isn't it?

To a degree it's the same thing. The daycare
women look at me suspiciously, as if because
I'm male, I'm a caveman. Sure, I get my baby
boy to laugh by making farting sounds. And
yes, I'm working him up to "pull my finger"
jokes, but I don't think that's reason enough
for them to think, "I just know that's the
last time we're gonna see that kid," as I walk
out the door at the end of the day.

My older son, J, will be 10 this year. I've
been dealing with this for a long time now.
I'm sure my wife doesn't get this. Because,
after all, she's female, like she's
automatically part of an elite group or
something. And, no, I'm not implying in any
way, shape, or form, that I want to be a
woman. You couldn't pay me enough. No way.

Still, it would be neat to be know the secret
handshake once in awhile.

As the baby's Dad, they have to accept me by
default, but I suspect they don't like it.
But, hell, that's ok. And, just to irk them, I
will keep showing up at the daycare with the
baby once or twice a week. And, every once in
awhile, I'll toss him up in the air for
effect. You know, just to keep it
interesting.

-la