Twas 5 Days Before Xmas and all through the office...
...were a whole lotta people doin' nada. Including me. I should be working, or better yet, studying...and I'm not. I did a bunch of work this morning, but I've run out of steam.
So, of course, when that happens, what do you do? Head out to das internets, of course!
First, I hit the web page for the Oklahoma Lottery Commission. Had to see what that Powerball was up to. $25 million? Well, that's ok...I suppose I could get by with that...maybe.
Maybe?
Yeah, well, I have discriminating tastes. For example, what if I wanted to go blow the whole shebang and buy my own private island? Because if the jackpot is $25 million, I'd want it and want it NOW. But, there's a tax hit with that, right? So *poof* half of it's gone immediately. How much island can you buy for roughly $12.5 million? Ok, loaded question.
It depends where you want your island. Yes, you'd have to make up your mind. Because there are islands in the sun (Caribbean) or islands where it snows (New York, Alaska, etc.), foreign islands (Oceania, Asia, Africa), and so on. Then there are other factors, like the size of it, amenities, etc. For example, if I wanted to purchase Fanny Key in Florida (yeah, I used that one because I picture Beavis and Butthead saying..."heh heh, he said Fanny!") I'd have to shell out most of my lottery winnings: $8 million!
Would there be enough left over to live on and with which to furnish my new island home? (Questions that those who are really rich don't even have to entertain.)
So, I'll do it for them.
Yeah, probably. Because I'd be shopping for bargains. You know, folding lawn chairs from WalMart and an outdoor stereo system from Buy More.
Could you really deal with island life, Lex?
Stellar question!
Because it would be a change, for sure. A different existence, if you will. According to the article referenced above, if you're in good shape (because, chances are, you won't be close to a hospital or have your own medical staff...well, I would keep my Swedish massage therapist, Inga, on call), are good with tools (stuff breaks down and this ain't suburbia where you call walk your digits through the yellow pages and hire Joe Handyman), and don't mind the alone time, then island life might be for you. Otherwise, "you'll go bonkers."
So, you're a social animal with two left thumbs who is also a fat ass. Plus, now, you've got all this money you've just won burning a hole in your hot little pocket. Yet, you can't shake this island jones.
Hey, you could always rent.
It's kinda like owning, only more expensive. But, without the headaches. Like leasing a car. Just walk away when the fun has worn off.
Renting too gauche for ya? Well, it may be gauche, but it sure ain't cheap. Be prepared to dole out the Benjamins. Typically renting will cost you between $30, 000 to $50,000 a night (or day, depending on the real estate rules).
Wow. That's steep even by my standards.
Um, what standards, Lex?
Ok, good point. I have none. Like that point needs to be made.
So, anyway, there you have it. I guess all I need to do now is stop on my way home this afternoon and buy a lottery ticket. Oh, and hope I win, of course.
No problem.
-la
So, of course, when that happens, what do you do? Head out to das internets, of course!
First, I hit the web page for the Oklahoma Lottery Commission. Had to see what that Powerball was up to. $25 million? Well, that's ok...I suppose I could get by with that...maybe.
Maybe?
Yeah, well, I have discriminating tastes. For example, what if I wanted to go blow the whole shebang and buy my own private island? Because if the jackpot is $25 million, I'd want it and want it NOW. But, there's a tax hit with that, right? So *poof* half of it's gone immediately. How much island can you buy for roughly $12.5 million? Ok, loaded question.
It depends where you want your island. Yes, you'd have to make up your mind. Because there are islands in the sun (Caribbean) or islands where it snows (New York, Alaska, etc.), foreign islands (Oceania, Asia, Africa), and so on. Then there are other factors, like the size of it, amenities, etc. For example, if I wanted to purchase Fanny Key in Florida (yeah, I used that one because I picture Beavis and Butthead saying..."heh heh, he said Fanny!") I'd have to shell out most of my lottery winnings: $8 million!
Would there be enough left over to live on and with which to furnish my new island home? (Questions that those who are really rich don't even have to entertain.)
So, I'll do it for them.
Yeah, probably. Because I'd be shopping for bargains. You know, folding lawn chairs from WalMart and an outdoor stereo system from Buy More.
Could you really deal with island life, Lex?
Stellar question!
Because it would be a change, for sure. A different existence, if you will. According to the article referenced above, if you're in good shape (because, chances are, you won't be close to a hospital or have your own medical staff...well, I would keep my Swedish massage therapist, Inga, on call), are good with tools (stuff breaks down and this ain't suburbia where you call walk your digits through the yellow pages and hire Joe Handyman), and don't mind the alone time, then island life might be for you. Otherwise, "you'll go bonkers."
So, you're a social animal with two left thumbs who is also a fat ass. Plus, now, you've got all this money you've just won burning a hole in your hot little pocket. Yet, you can't shake this island jones.
Hey, you could always rent.
It's kinda like owning, only more expensive. But, without the headaches. Like leasing a car. Just walk away when the fun has worn off.
Renting too gauche for ya? Well, it may be gauche, but it sure ain't cheap. Be prepared to dole out the Benjamins. Typically renting will cost you between $30, 000 to $50,000 a night (or day, depending on the real estate rules).
Wow. That's steep even by my standards.
Um, what standards, Lex?
Ok, good point. I have none. Like that point needs to be made.
So, anyway, there you have it. I guess all I need to do now is stop on my way home this afternoon and buy a lottery ticket. Oh, and hope I win, of course.
No problem.
-la
posted by Lex Armenia at 12:32 PM
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