Everyone's Dyin' to Get In....
Surfing the great web way this morning, I was on BoingBoing and happened upon an interesting article on death. No, Lex is not trying to be a bummer. But, it's a natural fact of life that we'll all be worm food some day.
Anyway, the BoingBoing site lead to a link that provided a list of 20 Things You Didn't Know About Death. Pretty interesting stuff. For example, #3 states that no American has died of old age since 1951. Hmm. How do we know this? Because the gov't removed the classification from death certificates the same year? I'm thinking it was likely chaged to 'natural causes' or something similar.
After reading about the environmental impacts of being buried vs. cremation, it makes me want to have my mortal coil shipped off to Sweden to be processed by Promessa. Sounds like I'd get to be fertilizer a lot sooner and wouldn't pollute the environment. No, I'm not being all treehugger here (ok, maybe a bit), but there was a news story here in OKC last week where this woman went to visit her husband's body that was in a mausoleum, and the body in a chamber above it wasn't prepared with, well, let's just say 'proper emballming techniques' and was dripping (or maybe melting is a better word) down onto her husband. How do you even begin to think about how to clean that up? Talk about biohazard. And, well, just plain gross. The sad thing is that it didn't appear that the family of the snowman really cared whether Frosty melted or not.
I felt bad for the lady, because she probably spent a boatload of money on the casket, emballming, the mausoleum, flowers, etc. That would suck.
Well, there's bound to be some problems. After all, #20 said that over 100 billion people have died since the people were around.
Anyway, to end this on a higher note, here are a few true epitaphs:
Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"
Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Well, time to kill this entry. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Stay healthy, ya'll.
-la
Anyway, the BoingBoing site lead to a link that provided a list of 20 Things You Didn't Know About Death. Pretty interesting stuff. For example, #3 states that no American has died of old age since 1951. Hmm. How do we know this? Because the gov't removed the classification from death certificates the same year? I'm thinking it was likely chaged to 'natural causes' or something similar.
After reading about the environmental impacts of being buried vs. cremation, it makes me want to have my mortal coil shipped off to Sweden to be processed by Promessa. Sounds like I'd get to be fertilizer a lot sooner and wouldn't pollute the environment. No, I'm not being all treehugger here (ok, maybe a bit), but there was a news story here in OKC last week where this woman went to visit her husband's body that was in a mausoleum, and the body in a chamber above it wasn't prepared with, well, let's just say 'proper emballming techniques' and was dripping (or maybe melting is a better word) down onto her husband. How do you even begin to think about how to clean that up? Talk about biohazard. And, well, just plain gross. The sad thing is that it didn't appear that the family of the snowman really cared whether Frosty melted or not.
I felt bad for the lady, because she probably spent a boatload of money on the casket, emballming, the mausoleum, flowers, etc. That would suck.
Well, there's bound to be some problems. After all, #20 said that over 100 billion people have died since the people were around.
Anyway, to end this on a higher note, here are a few true epitaphs:
Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"
Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Well, time to kill this entry. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Stay healthy, ya'll.
-la
posted by Lex Armenia at 8:22 AM
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