The Bitchslap Mail Filter
My colleague and normally good-natured apl, J, called me awhile ago. Just to set this up right, he's usually a very laid-back guy. But, like me and everyone I know, he has a few pet peeves. When something gets "stuck in his craw" as my grandpappy used to say, ya better watch out.
The call went something like this:
L:...This is Lex, can I help you?
J: Yo!
L: Yo...s'up g-money?
J: I have a request for some software.
L: M'kay. Whatchya need?
J: I need the Bitchslap Mail Filter installed on my PC. It's a mail filter that detects the dumbass stuff people do, reaches through their monitors, and bitchslaps them silly.
L: Umm...
J: I just got this 1-page PDF file from HR and it was over 2MB. I hate it when people do crap like that. It crashed Outlook!
L: It's not like it takes much to crash Outlook, dude.
J: Yeah, but they could have used smaller graphics, better compression, anything.
L: I agree...maybe we could develop The Bitchslap Filter and market it. I bet we could retire in less than a year. We'd be totally rich because EVERYONE would want one. Face it, how many times have you just wanted to spank someone's face for the stupid things they do? Me? Plenty.
And so it went...us plotting the takeover of the free world by using TBF. Just to be sure this idea was original though, I googled "The Bitchslap Filter" and came up with paydirt: nothing. So, no one has thought of it yet.
Bwahahaha!
I rule. Well, ok, my friend J rules. But I know him, so I rule too.
-la
The call went something like this:
L:
J: Yo!
L: Yo...s'up g-money?
J: I have a request for some software.
L: M'kay. Whatchya need?
J: I need the Bitchslap Mail Filter installed on my PC. It's a mail filter that detects the dumbass stuff people do, reaches through their monitors, and bitchslaps them silly.
L: Umm...
J: I just got this 1-page PDF file from HR and it was over 2MB. I hate it when people do crap like that. It crashed Outlook!
L: It's not like it takes much to crash Outlook, dude.
J: Yeah, but they could have used smaller graphics, better compression, anything.
L: I agree...maybe we could develop The Bitchslap Filter and market it. I bet we could retire in less than a year. We'd be totally rich because EVERYONE would want one. Face it, how many times have you just wanted to spank someone's face for the stupid things they do? Me? Plenty.
And so it went...us plotting the takeover of the free world by using TBF. Just to be sure this idea was original though, I googled "The Bitchslap Filter" and came up with paydirt: nothing. So, no one has thought of it yet.
Bwahahaha!
I rule. Well, ok, my friend J rules. But I know him, so I rule too.
-la
2 Comments:
Can I get in on the bitchslap filter? I have an idea for an optional add-on for the Marketing department that bitchslaps them twice.
Yes, you can. It can be kinda of open source...with just you, me, and J as the developers. Except, we'll get paid. Lots.
Ok, maybe it's not like open source.
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