Lex is More

Did you Survive?

2007-12-26T20:09:00.000-08:00

Actually, yes, I did. I survived Xmas just fine.

And, I admit I got some neat gifts. The people in my life are good at gift-giving, despite my protests against the whole thing.

My mom tricked me this year. She e-mailed about a month ago and asked for my help picking out a portable GPS for my Dad. So, being the dutuful young Lex, I promptly went to work. I headed to Amazon, CNET, etc. I read reviews and poured over user comments by the dozens. I factored in how he might use such a device and what features were necessary (ease of use!). Also, those that weren't (playing MP3s on a portable GPS? Why?)

So, I narrowed it down to three different models: A Garmin, a Magellan, and a Tom Tom. Then, I fired off the links. I even made a point of calling her and sending them to her personal e-mail address (she usually just shares one with my Dad, but I figured he'd see the e-mail if I sent it there. I actually called her and made her check her Gmail account to ensure that she got it ok.) I then told her if she needed anything else to let me know, and quickly forgot about it. She never brought it up again, so I figured she picked one (they were all about the same), ordered it, and that was that.

Then, along about a week or two ago, she mentions to me that I should be looking out for presents for the kids, and from where they will be arriving (Amazon, Discovery Store, Gymboree, etc.) And, just before I hang up with her, she says, "Oh, and there's a present coming for you from" - get this - "Radio Shack" of all places.

Radio shack? WTF?

What could Radio Shack have that I would want or need?

Of course, the first thing that went through my mind was that it could be a remote control vehicle of some kind. That would be cool...my kids would like it, too.

So, finally, a small non-descript box arrives from Radio Shack about a week before Xmas. It's not heavy. It doesn't make any noise when I shake it. I have no idea now. It wasn't big enough for a remote control car...maybe if it was a mini-RC, but, wow, now I, the Great Lex, am stumped.

So, I do the only thing I really can do at this point.

I wait.

And wait.

So, finally, on Xmas eve, after all the kids open their stuff from my parents and other relatives (none of Santa's gift's, though, because they don't arrive until Xmas morning) I remember the box from Radio Shack. It's the last gift of the evening. I get a knofe, open the box, and guess what's inside?

Yep, a portable GPS. The TomTom Go 720. With a small carrying case.

I never saw it coming. She tricked me.

It looks pretty cool. I haven't used it yet, but I might bust it out and see how it works tomorrow. I don't know if it's something I'd need on a regular basis, but it could come in handy at times.

Good ol' Mom. Just when you think you've seen all everything in her bag o' tricks.

-la

Twas 5 Days Before Xmas and all through the office...

2007-12-20T12:32:00.000-08:00

...were a whole lotta people doin' nada. Including me. I should be working, or better yet, studying...and I'm not. I did a bunch of work this morning, but I've run out of steam.

So, of course, when that happens, what do you do? Head out to das internets, of course!

First, I hit the web page for the Oklahoma Lottery Commission. Had to see what that Powerball was up to. $25 million? Well, that's ok...I suppose I could get by with that...maybe.

Maybe?

Yeah, well, I have discriminating tastes. For example, what if I wanted to go blow the whole shebang and buy my own private island? Because if the jackpot is $25 million, I'd want it and want it NOW. But, there's a tax hit with that, right? So *poof* half of it's gone immediately. How much island can you buy for roughly $12.5 million? Ok, loaded question.

It depends where you want your island. Yes, you'd have to make up your mind. Because there are islands in the sun (Caribbean) or islands where it snows (New York, Alaska, etc.), foreign islands (Oceania, Asia, Africa), and so on. Then there are other factors, like the size of it, amenities, etc. For example, if I wanted to purchase Fanny Key in Florida (yeah, I used that one because I picture Beavis and Butthead saying..."heh heh, he said Fanny!") I'd have to shell out most of my lottery winnings: $8 million!

Would there be enough left over to live on and with which to furnish my new island home? (Questions that those who are really rich don't even have to entertain.)

So, I'll do it for them.

Yeah, probably. Because I'd be shopping for bargains. You know, folding lawn chairs from WalMart and an outdoor stereo system from Buy More.

Could you really deal with island life, Lex?

Stellar question!

Because it would be a change, for sure. A different existence, if you will. According to the article referenced above, if you're in good shape (because, chances are, you won't be close to a hospital or have your own medical staff...well, I would keep my Swedish massage therapist, Inga, on call), are good with tools (stuff breaks down and this ain't suburbia where you call walk your digits through the yellow pages and hire Joe Handyman), and don't mind the alone time, then island life might be for you. Otherwise, "you'll go bonkers."

So, you're a social animal with two left thumbs who is also a fat ass. Plus, now, you've got all this money you've just won burning a hole in your hot little pocket. Yet, you can't shake this island jones.

Hey, you could always rent.

It's kinda like owning, only more expensive. But, without the headaches. Like leasing a car. Just walk away when the fun has worn off.

Renting too gauche for ya? Well, it may be gauche, but it sure ain't cheap. Be prepared to dole out the Benjamins. Typically renting will cost you between $30, 000 to $50,000 a night (or day, depending on the real estate rules).

Wow. That's steep even by my standards.

Um, what standards, Lex?

Ok, good point. I have none. Like that point needs to be made.

So, anyway, there you have it. I guess all I need to do now is stop on my way home this afternoon and buy a lottery ticket. Oh, and hope I win, of course.

No problem.

-la

The Hobbit

2007-12-18T18:34:00.001-08:00

Ok, I'm going for the geek cred on this one, but my beautiful little wife just called and informed me that Peter Jackson has signed on to film 'The Hobbit' (according to The Hollywood Reporter and probably about 50 million other sites.)

The internet just had a collective orgasm.

Geeks unite!

-la

Lifehacker's 2007 Cool Apps List

2007-12-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

I love Lifehacker. And, this is a great list they just put out:

Lifehacker's 2007 Guide to Free Software and Web Apps

It's a bit Winders-heavy (as is expected) but don't just stop with the list. Read the comments people post as well. There are just as many useful suggestions in these comments as there are in the list itself.

Enjoy.

-la

Wonder Pets Rehab

2007-12-18T11:55:00.000-08:00

With the youngin' getting to that age where he can and does enjoy TV, we've been letting him watch a plethora of children's programming. He was stuck on Zoboomafoo for the longest time. After a steady feeding of that, his palate has changed. Now, it's 'The Wonder Pets', which he absolutely loves...to the point where we're going to have to start detoxing him soon.

Unfortunately, I'll have to go to rehab with him. No, don't get me wrong here. It's not as though I think this is the 'greatest thing ever and oh, my, gawd, you have to watch it!' Because, I could easily go for, oh, say, THE REST OF MY LIFE without watching another episode. The reason I'd need to go to rehab is because of the damn music. It sticks in your head...all day. I find myself thinking things during the day like, 'What's gonna work? Teamwork!' during management meetings. If you've never seen the show then you probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

The boy doesn't care which episode he watches. Unlike Mama and Daddy who watch something once and never rewatch it again, he will watch the same one over and over again. Of course, this drives us crazy.

The other day, we found ourselves cheering (literally) that the Tivo had recorded a new episode that none of us had seen. Sad, isn't it? The problem with a lot of these kids shows is that the television stations run the same episodes over and over again. This is both good and bad. It's good because it gives you lots of times at which you can view or record the show (you know, to avoid those Tivo conflicts). It's bad, because there isn't a lot of new content. And when you have your Tivo Season Pass set to only record new episodes, you sometimes have to wait a long time between new ones.

Lex, your weird.

Yeah, I know. You'd be amazed at how much I hear that. Somewhere, someone has a nice, cozy rubber room just waiting for me.

-la

Things Past

2007-12-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

During my hiatus over the past few months, I had an interesting experience: My 20th high school reunion (yes, kids, I'm THAT old) took place in a small 1-horse town in upstate NY. Yes, the REAL upstate - north of the Adirondack park. Spittin' distance from Canada in the woods. No, not Buffalo. No, not Albany...this is six hours northeast of the former and four hours north of the latter.

In other words, you gotta want to go there. REALLY gotta want to go there.

So, after months of figuring out what everyone's schedules were going to be for that summer, I decided to go. I thought I might not go at first. Part of it was spending the money, the hassle of travel, etc. But, on the other side of the coin, I only see these people (well, at least those who show up) once about every ten years, so I figured if I amortized that cost over ten years, it came out to be a pretty cheap ticket.

My wife influenced me too. Of course her influence came in the form of, "you can do what you want, but I have absolutely no desire to go to a reunion ever again." See, she went to her 20th a few years ago. She even had a good time, as it was her first one. She skipped her 10th, because she was in a bad place in her life at the time and didn't want to answer all of the "so, what do you do now, are you married, do you have kids..." questions. But, this time she decided to go and her best friend drove down with her family and we went. It was fun meeting her old friends, watching her flit from group to group while her best friend's husband and I sat on the sidelines eating appetizers. The next day we got to visit her old school, which was a LOT different than mine. However, after all of the hoopla of that weekend, she decided that she keeps in touch with the people she likes and could easily go the rest of her life without seeing the rest. And, she probably has a point. As I got to learn about the people she went to high school with that weekend, it appeared that they formed the same cliques once again 20 years later. Some things never change, I guess. This was readily apparent during the Saturday night dinner.

Someone threw together a REALLY poorly constructed slide show displaying classmates from those past few years of high school. But, it was like someone just took a shoe box full of old Polaroids and a cheap scanner and went to town. Then, where I had to laugh hysterically, was that there was a boom box blaring with hits from the 80's that was so poorly mixed, it could have been done by my two-year old and sounded better (Go Wonder Pets!). To me, it was like nails on a chalkboard after being a DJ for ten years. Have you ever heard of a mixer or, at the VERY least, the word 'fade'? Grr. Oh, and BTW...where's that compilation we paid for Reunion Committee? The wife is still shaking her head over that one. And, would you want it even if you got it after seeing the high quality slide show/mix tape crap you threw together at the last minute?

Oh, yeah, there is a point to all of this, which is that the entire 'montage' (for lack of a less kind word) consisted of basically the same people over and over again. The sporties and class officers, mostly. A few geeks thrown in just to make them feel like they were part of the crowd. But, I remember my wife remarking that that the class size was like 400 people and there was NO WAY that they went through that number of pics. Even I started recognizing people in the montage and I didn't even know any of them.

Anyway, my wife had her fun, checked the box, and was ready to move on with never seeing these people again.

So, now it was my turn and she didn't see the point in spending the money or taking the time. However, my situation is different. Much smaller school (I graduated with 26 people...and that included me) and we had a really good time at the 10th. So, I decided to go.

Only a few people actually live out of state...with a class that size, I guess that's not surprising, really. In order to mitigate the fact that the class size was so small and that we knew that maybe half of the class would show up, we expanded our little reunion to include the class before and the class after ours, since we were all close back in the day anyway. Like I said, it was a small school (400 kids -- maybe -- K-12), as opposed to the 400 or so my wofe had just in her class.

And, you know what? I had a great time. I'm really glad I went. We pre-partied a bit Friday night (necessary, of course, including some mean karaoke), spent some time with the 'rents Saturday, Saturday night got to see everyone get their drink on and helped out with the Sunday afternoon family day. There were some surprises, too. One of my best friends in high school who died a while back...well, his sister was there. I had no idea who she was at first. Quite shocking how good she looked and how much she'd changed from the little sister we grew up with and who used to run around and terrorize us. Others, too, looked good and seem to be aging quite nicely. Oh hell, we all are, really. And, for those who couldn't or didn't want to be there. I wish them well. Especially my buddy Ev. It would have been GREAT to see him. But, apparently, word is that he decided he would never live in the United States again because the laws are too, um, restrictive in some capacities, so I guess he's enjoying life in Thailand.

Those that organized this even say that they want to start doing them every 5 years. I could get behind that. And, you know that the people who showed up will show up in the future, barring any unforeseen circumstances, deaths, and such. Any excuse to drink in the north country is a good one.

-la

The Return of Kris Moose

2007-11-29T11:23:00.001-08:00

It's cool watching my youngest boy. He turns 2 this weekend.

And, since it's the Silly Season, the wife made me assist in the annual exercise of hanging decorations everywhere. One element is Kris Moose...the smirky reindeer that adorns the entrance to my youngest son's room.

Last year Kris Moose knew all along that the trip was gonna be a bad one. This year, it's my turn to smirk. Well, not so much at his expense, but because its fun to watch my toddler not be scared of him this year. In fact, he likes Kris Moose and often pokes him in the schnoz when I say, "Kris Moose Nose!" while holding him eye-level with the beast.

The boy will then start pointing to everything that Kris Moose is wearing and start naming it: Star, tree, ball...you get the meaning.

And, the toddler-boy likes the Xmas tree - he's diggin' the lights. But, he particularly likes the chili lights I put up.

Chili lights, Lex?

Yeah, we live in the pseudo Southwestern US (notice Oklahoma isn't on this map...only on the border of it, so we can't really be called part of the Southwest - I guess OK is considered more in the Central US)....so, I have chili lights -- both red and green (you know, for Xmas!). And, because, well, I'm one hot tamale'. (Just ask my wife.)

-la

Oncoming Downtime for Silly Season

2007-11-29T09:08:00.000-08:00

The silly season is upon us....again.

Though I look forward to some downtime around the holidays to catch up on all of the stuff that keeps getting pushed aside in deference to family, friends, football, etc. like my hobbies...guitar playing and Xbox.

My son blew through the Halo3 campaign in about two days. I've been working on it in fits and spurts for about...well, since it came out. And I have a LONG way to go.

An acquaintance of mine gave me a copy of this old Alien vs. Predator game that I played on for about 15 minutes. It was old school, but had some good playability. It wasn't as creepy as he imagined (I mean, c'mon...I'm also playing through BioShock for gods sake....that game has a creepy factor all its own.)

You know what else I'm looking forward to? The writer's strike continuing for as long as possible.

But Lex, dude, you're a TV-a-holic! Don't you want to stay on top of all of your favorite shows?

Yes and no. Keeping up with TV shows, even with a few Tivos in the house, is VERY time consuming. Relaxing? Yes, to a point. But then I realize that I could have used that time for the purpose of good (playing guitar, gaming, writing a blog entry, and um, exercising...) rather than evil (um, sitting on my lazy ass doing NOTHING), I get a bit frustrated.

I'm thinking I need a break from must-see TV. Hell, if for nothing more than catching up on my Netflix movies. Ok, I realize I'm contradicting myself here. Trading one bad addiction for another and all that, but why have the subscription if you ain't gonna use it?

Oh, wait, that could apply to my gym membership, too.

(Lex makes a note to cancel his gym membership)

Anyway, in all fairness to myself, I'm thinking about buying a home gym, in an attempt to get around any excuse and work out at home. Going to the gym takes too much time. It really does. It's a bad excuse, I admit, and any accomplishment really boils down to the whole 'How bad do you want it?' mentality.

I guess it's time to start compiling my list of New Year's resolutions.

-la

HD in da' hizzie!

2007-11-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to say that even I, The Great Lex, was amazed at how easy this worked out. The tech showed up, called in to the level 2 support to have them unpair and pair the CableCards with the system and BAM! (a little Emeril sound effect for ya there...) I was thrown into the world of hi-def.

As soon as it happened, the tech, who was sitting on my couch, jumped up and yelled, "Yes! Score!", and threw both hands in the air as if he'd just nailed the winning touchdown. He was obviously amazed at the quickness at which this issue had been fixed. He said, "Man, just wait 'til I tell my buddies how quickly this got resolved. They'll never believe I had a 15 minute CableCard call!"

Ok, I'm not sure what this says about the state of technology...well, yes, I do....it's still too damn complicated for the average users. But, hey, it's working, so I guess I can't complain.

The happy technician left the building. So, of course, I started flipping channels to get into full-on HD adoration. That's when I noticed that none of the premium channels were working. Crap.

So, I called Cox tech support. I understand why they have automated attendant systems that try to talk to you as if they are human, but for the love of god, "just let me talk to a real person!" So, eventually, I got to James or Steve or who was a.) Really bored with his job and didn't want to be there, b.) should have called in sick -- although I really think he was just hating his life and his job at the moment, or c.) was fixin' to go postal on someone's ass and this was the calm before the storm. If it was option C, I'm just really glad I wasn't anywhere in the vicinity.

Anyway, I coaxed him into checking on my situation and he managed to conjure up the strength to tap a few buttons and make it go. Suddenly King Kong was battling against the evil raptors in HD on my TV. Way to go bored kid with the bad attitude!

And, well, that was that.

Of course, there are still issues. For one, the Tivo in the living room has spontaneously rebooted itself twice over the past few days. I'm thinking it's a heat issue, though the old one never had a problem. However, anyone who knows anything about equipment like this and computers in general (which, is essentially what a Tivo is -- a Linux-based computer) knows that heat can wreak havoc on machines. So, I'm drilling some air holes in the cabinet so it can breathe. That won't happen until the weekend. Might have to put a fan in there, as well.

The other issue, and this is a bit more frustrating, is that the AV receiver's protective circuitry shuts down the unit at high volumes. When it comes back on, a CH. SP. WIRES message appears on the display. Not cool. After researching it, it can be caused by several things. The easiest is that the speaker wires might be shorting out against the unit itself. Less easy issues could make it a power supply issue or a short in one of the speaker wires in the wall leading to the speakers. So, I'm going to try and solve that one with some banana plugs (straight bare wires are being used right now.)

Anyway, stay tuned for more AV hijinx at Casa de Armenia. And, other stuff of course.

-la

High Definition Madness

2007-11-14T13:03:00.001-08:00

I bought two TivoHDs to replace my aging Series2 Tivos...any Tivo junkies out there will know that this is both a blessing and a curse. It's my foray into the world of HD. I've been salivating over it for some time now...as do most people.

All of the elements are in place. Two great TVs, a home network, the TivoHDs, a new computer loaded with the Tivo software so I can transfer my favorite shows and movies, etc.

However, these new Tivos take CableCards, which is basically a PC card that decodes the cable signal and allows you to watch digital and premium content like HBO, Skinemax, Blowtime, etc.

But, when the cable installer came out, he made sure they were communicating with the Cox Communications mother ship and left...basically wishing me good luck. Of course, after they downloaded a firware update, and I rebooted the Tivos and reran the Guide Setup, blah, blah, blah...there was no HD goodness in the house of Lex.

So, another tech is coming out later today to jump through the hoops all over again. Will provide an update soon. And, tell me again, why do I work in technology?

Remaining skeptical that I'll have HD goodness by the end of the day,
-la

Diet Pepsi and Hershey's Chocolate

2007-11-08T09:27:00.001-08:00

We have a family tradition of going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra every December here in OKC. That really gets me in the holiday spirit. But, they aren't coming here until December 22nd this year, and I got our seats pre-sale, so they are really good. Check them out if you've never heard them: http://www.trans-siberian.com/intro.html.

Right up my alley. I dig a good show.

And, guess what? I'm going to go see Ozzy and Rob Zombie with a friend of mine next month, too. But, this show is earlier...December 6th. Of course, now that I think about it, that'd kind of like eating Hershey's chocolate with Diet Pepsi. Aren't they supposed to cancel each other out?

Trans-Siberian Orchestra would cancel out all of the evil in my system from Ozzy and Rob. Well, that's the theory anyway. I'll let you know how that works out.

Thanks to Laurie for the DP/Chocolate analogy.

-la

Facebook Blasts Me to the Past

2007-11-08T09:14:00.001-08:00

I opened a Facebook account the other day. I know, I know. It seems like something that I would have done, oh, say, last year. Was never into MySpace...I like good design and I've never seen a MySpace page that didn't look like web puke from 1995.

So, I get my 'Facepage' set up for the world to see and start playing around with it. The search functions are pretty cool, so I start looking to see if there is anyone on from my company, then grad school, then college, and finally high school (no results...not really a surprise...my HS was small...lots of facepages for kids still going to the school, though.) Anyway, Facebook did help me reconnect with some people from college, which was cool (good talking to you again, Steve!) and just brought back some good memories, which I guess is the whole point of social networking. I did make a little mistake, however. I accidentally added my ex to my Facepage.

How the hell did that happen, Lex? Well, Facebook has this automatic add friend feature that basically goes out and scans your Yahoo or Gmail or other web-based e-mail account (with your permission, of course) and matches on people you have in your address book. And, me...well, being me, I didn't read all the fine details and must have sent her an invite. And she accepted.

So, now we're "friends"...well, according to Facebook, anyway. ;)

-la

Hiatus!

2007-11-07T13:26:00.000-08:00

I've always loved that word: hiatus. It sounds dirty for some reason.

Anyway, I've been on a hiatus for the past 6 months. I'm back now. No one is reading this, which is cool, so I can pretty much write about, well, anything and nothing.

So, Lex, what has been keeping you so damn busy the past 6 months? Oh, well, you know. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Mostly it's the wife and kids. The job sucks 40 hours a week out of me, too. That doesn't leave a whole lot of time left for anything. Although I think it was Thomas Jefferson who figured it out with his insomnia affliction. Yes, THE Thomas Jefferson. The dude just didn't sleep. He got SO much more accomplished. If I could figure out a way to just not have to sleep, I think I'd get a lot more done.

Just a reintroductory post. Time to go help a user with a printer issue. Then, it's off to get the kiddos, cook dinner, get them to bed, etc. the wife is out of town this week....in one of my fav cities: Boston. Although she called me and the Sheraton that her company has her in is a complete piece of shiitake mushroom. Luckily she doesn't spend a whole lot of time in it, but c'mon...mold and hair in the shower drain? Dude, that's just wrong. Completely wrong. Unfortunately, she's stuck in it.

Oh well. Will let you know if she survives.

-la

Cube World

2007-04-06T19:42:00.001-07:00

I'm re-watching 'Office Space'....but the Special Edition with Flair.

I forgot how true-to-life this movie really is...wow, I've really had days like this.  Makes me want to go visit ThinkGeek and buy some Bawls and then frag all night.  Oh, wait, I do that anyway -- even after a day of working in the cube world.

Have a great weekend, all.  Happy Easter and all that.

And, don't forget your cover sheet on your TPS reports.

-la

New Idea

2007-04-03T20:34:00.001-07:00

My birthday is quickly approaching. I hate this time of year. No, not for the reason that you might think. Yes, you get the "So, how's if feel to be a year older?" and from my buddies at work: "Dude, you're old!" Of course, truth be told, with the exception of one of my friends, I'm the youngest of them all. So, when they make comments like that, I just get a wry little smile, pause for a second or two (you know, for dramatic effect, and say, "Yes, yes, I'm older...but not as old as you! And, I never will be!" That's usually followed by a highly sophisticated remark such as, "Nyah nyah n'nyah yah!!!"

But, I digress.

Where was I? Oh, yes, my new idea.

The reason I hate this time of year (and, actually, this applies to Christmastime as well...) is that both that holiday in December and birthdays trigger an automatic impulse in people: the need to buy gifts. And, no matter how hard I try, I can't get them to stop. It's like when the doctor whacks your knee with that mini hammer thingamabob. And what happens? Your knee kicks up. It's a reflex. You can't stop it. People buying me gifts? Same thing. They can't help it. They feel like they are being rude or something if they don't buy me something.

"But Lex, you old Scrooge, why on Al Gore's green Earth would you not want gifts? Everyone loves gifts!"

Well, sorry, not me.

And, I understand why you do it. It's a learned response. We grow up giving gifts to people. It's just the way our society is.

And, I do it. I give gifts to my wife. I know it makes her feel good. I even buy her cards on her birthday and various other major holidays from our cats. She loves it. Me? Not so much. I don't mind giving, but I hate receiving.

"Well, that's just weird...and, well, just downright un-American!"

Um, ok.

You see, this comes from my upbringing. I used to love getting gifts. I looked forward to Christmas and my birthday to see if I'd get what I'd been wanting since the last go around.

"So, what happened?

Um, I grew up? Listen, I live a good life. I have good friends, I like my job, love my wife and kids, live in a nice house in a nice suburban neighborhood, and drive a decent car. I don't need much (ok, maybe a bit of a wardrobe update...so my wife would argue) and I try to keep things simple and not clutter up my life with stuff. Which, brings me back to my upbringing in upstate NY.

When I was but a wee Lex, I lived with my parents in a small (and I do mean small) house. Now, I hate clutter. And, so I don't like it when I get gifts from people that introduces yet more clutter into my life. So, a few years ago, I came up with a ground rule. It doesn't apply to anyone else but me. Everyone else can do what they want. This is my rule.

"So, what is it?"

Lex's Ground Rule for Gift Exchange: "Any gift Lex receives must be a consumable." No, I don't mean it has to be food, but it has to be something that can be used up. Like gift cards (I'm a BIG fan) or a bottle of wine (which my wife usually ends up drinking anyway). Or, the best consumable gift: money.

"Dude, that's cold. And wrong."

Um, ok. If that's what you think. I don't care. This is my blog and this is my rule. Not yours.

Lots of people hate gift cards because they think that no effort went into buying the gift. That just because you didn't spend hours combing the Internet or make a deficit trip to the mall, that somehow you care less about the person.

Um, ok. That's your hangup. Not mine.

Then, just tonight, I was in the shower (the thoughts flow well in the shower) this concept evolved and a new idea came to the surface. The music from 2001: A Space Odyssey started to play in my head, and the notion of instant re-gifting was born.

"What!?!" said my wife, who just happened to walk in the room as I was talking this out to myself.

Instant re-gifting. A simple concept really. Remember earlier in this post that I mentioned that when I get a bottle of wine as a gift that my wife usually ends up drinking it anyway? If you apply the concept of instant re-gifting, then upon receipt of that bottle of wine, I would just automatically hand it over to her. Merry Christmas! See, it's great!

Then, I took it even a step further. If, upon receipt of the gift, if you never even touch it...say, I direct the person giving the gift to me to hand it over directly to my wife, then, under the rules of Instant Re-gifting, I don't even have to write a thank-you letter.

Is that brilliant or what?

Yes, I know, the genius of Lex know no bounds. I'll let you know how it goes this year. I've been trying to get my family used to this concept for the past four or five years now. And, progress has been made. We'll see, though.

Well, I better go. The wife is giving me 'The Look' now.

Peace!
-la

Crap You Wished You Thought Of...

2007-03-22T08:18:00.001-07:00

Like a coat hanger or the little plastic ends of your shoelaces. I'm sure the guys who though up that crap are gazillionairres.

Well, here's one I REALLY wished I'd though of. A Labyrinthine Brownie Pan...yep, you read it right. Anytime there are brownies around, I want one with edge, baby. Now, I'll get my wish (x2!).

-la

The Air Guitar Shirt

2007-03-21T08:51:00.001-07:00

Anyone who knows me (both of them...) know that I play guitar and love doing it. Problem is, I suck at it. Yes, I've taken lessons, folks, so don't go there. But, how cool would it be to be able to have a shirt that plays music when you start performing in a bar (ok, after more than a few drinks) while your fav songs blasts through the speakers? Hey, you're just having a good time, right? This is where the Air Guitar Shirt comes in.

Oh, and before you assume (b/c we all know what happens when we do) -- that is not me in the picture. Really. It's not.

-la

GhostintheMachine

2007-01-05T09:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, I usually don't blog about work. (Isn't the first rule of blogging, "Thou Shalt Not Blog About They Job?") Whatever.

It's not like you know where I work. Or care, for that matter.

I've been working with a co-worker setting up a GhostCast server this morning. Pretty cool stuff. We have a working training room and I decided to make myself learn how to do this to prevent a lot of work later. Every time we have computer-based training, the machines need to be wiped and a fresh image applied. That's where Ghost comes in. It actually hasn't been that bad to set up, but we're just now creating our first image. I'll have to see how it goes and then if we can successfully apply the image to the other machines. If it works, it'll be the shiznit.

I'm also trying to set up a public Outlook calendar for the office. I just started and have put a grand total of about 5 minutes into it. Anyone know a quick-n-dirty way to do it? I think I know how, but it's Friday and I'm feeling particularly lazy today. Or, maybe just tired. It's been a long week with the trip and all.

I'm not being entertaining today. Sorry. Bah.

Oh, one interesting note. I got my XBOX360 hooked up downstairs in my office finally. In order to do it, I needed an audio source and so I cranked up the Wayback Machine and found an old receiver and some speakers from like 20 years ago. Once that part was going, I hooked up the console to the kick-ass monitor my wife bought me this past year and off I went playing Gears of War. For some reason, the picture is darker on the new monitor than it was on my 40" LCD telly in the bedroom. Why did I move it? So, my kiddo could play on Saturday mornings and I could sleep in. See, I'm always thinking.

Anyway, the amusing part of all of this is that the wife came down to see what was causing all the noise and I put in the new Lara Croft: Legends game. She really liked it. Well, I suspected she did when she grabbed the controller out of my hand.

Playing console games is way different from the mouse/keyboard FPS games I'm used to dealing with. It takes time to get used to navigating in a 3D space. She wasn't at all used to it. She actually killed Lara before it was all said and done, but I give her credit for trying. And, the cool part is, I think she wants to do it more.

Very cool.

-la

Kris Moose Knew

2007-01-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

The damn moose had a smirk on his face. I think maybe he knew something I didn't...such as the fact that holiday travel is difficult at best and INSANE with a 1-year old. What the hell was I thinking?

The trip there and back was pure sado-masochistic evil...plain and simple. My wife and I vowed to never travel with a 1-year old again. Ever.

The actual visit itself was good. I got to play tech support guy (I was actually introduced to a salesgirl at the local tech store by my dad as 'hi-tech son'...to which I waved and said 'Hi, I'm hi-tech son') -- I don't think she ever knew my real name; got to visit with old friends, although a few of them that I called said they would come out for the proverbial toast on NYE and pulled a no-show. (Note: Dudes, I'm only in the area, like, every 2 years. You could at least break away for one freakin' hour to say hey...); worked on my parent's computer, visited family, went ATV riding, took the kids sledding, and ate WAY too much.

Bottom line: I don't feel rested at all. I need a vacation from my vacation. And, I actually was happy to get back to work today.

Ever have a vacation like that? Let me know...we can compare war stories.

-la

Kris Moose Nose

2006-12-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

Merry Xmas, all.

Well, I survived another holiday...though, honestly, the worst is yet to come. No, not NYE...that will actually be tame this year.

Rather, I'll be on travel. With my family. Which includes a 1-year old with whom we've never flown.

My blood pressure is rising at the thought of it.

We're heading up to visit my half of clan in NY. They might even have snow...not sure. I'll try to log in and blog a bit about the trip whilst there. I'm sure that 6 adults, 2 kids, and a large German Shepherd in a 1500 sq.ft. home with only three bedrooms has all kinds of potential lunacy just waiting to be unleashed.

Hope you survived the holidays as well, dear reader.

Wish me well.

Peace out!
-la

Superman at UMich?

2006-11-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

I've been bingeing on a copious diet of viral video lately. I've even had the thought to post some of my own and join the vast time-wasting conspiracy that is YouTube. Maybe one of my wife's snoring?

Today I've seen everything from a guy driving like an idiot because he's late to work to a FANTASTIC live performance by U2.

As my eyes began to glaze over, more hilarity ensued as I watched an Asian Superman smash his cell phone in a class at UMich. I never had the stones to do something like that when I was in college. Of course, that was WAY pre-interweb.

[insert old man joke here...]

-la

God Bless the Internet...

2006-10-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

...when I read stories like this. That just made my week.

-la

I'm so lame...

2006-10-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

I was reading a post on the always interesting blog, The Sneeze and in the post about a handshake gone wrong, a link to the Urban Dictionary appears. I'd heard of the Urban Dictionary, but had never really read it. Mostly, because, well, I'm so lame. And, over 30, and well, lame. Of course, I mean this in the best possible way (not wanting to diss myself too much....)

Reading the UD is educational, however. I just used the term gangsta lean in a conversation I was having with our office admin. She chuckled and was likely thinking how pathetic I was. But, ahem, I digress.

Check out this "web-based lexicon of the slangy and snarky" and look up your favorite terms. Or, do what I did and sit and read the banner that changes on the home page. That will give you a quick overview of what you're missing out on. And, maybe provide a way to talk like the youth of today. (Hey, I'm over 30. I admit that there are actually people that are younger out there. Somewhere. Ok, only on MTV.)

My advice: For fun, intersperse UD terminology into your business meetings with management. Occassionally throw in terms like "yoink", "o snap", and "dadonk-a-donk" as you display the Powerpoint slides of your current project plan. When questioned, feign ignorance, acting as if you never said anything of the sort.

Enjoy.
-la

300

2006-10-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the trailer for 300 yet? If not, take a minute and check it out. Ok, take 1:47 (minus download times) to check it out.

If you were a fan of Sin City, I think you'll like it.

-la

Why Bill Is So Cool

2006-10-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

I read an article this morning that pointed out why, even after all these years, Bill Murray (thought I was gonna say Clinton, didn't ya? Yeah, I thought so...) is still so damn cool.

I grew up watching this guy's movies. Stripes was the first R-rated movie I saw and after that, I was hooked. Meatballs was next, and so it went...I'm still one of those, likely in the minority, that thinks Bill should have gotten some kind of award for Caddyshack -- forever known as the best golf movie of all time. Ok, maybe I'll take some flack for that, but you have to agree it's the most quotable ("It's in the hole! It's in the hole!!"). I even liked Razor's Edge, which just got panned as one of fifty of Hollywood's most egregious mistakes.

I was glad to see Bill get the respect he deserved for 'Lost in Translation' a few years back. Not to mention he got to hang with Scarlett, one of my favorite actresses. Who wouldn't want that gig?

Anyway, this wasn't intended to run down his filmography, but I just had to tell you how cool I think Bill actually is. Not a lot of big time stars would have done something like that. Yes, I know he went for the cute girls, but that makes it even better, because I would have done the same thing in his place. "What, more booze and cute girls half my age running around drunk? Sure, I'm in...Hell, I'm in and I'll even wash the dishes!"

-la

PS: I realize I'm SO sleeping on the couch for that last statement.

Teddy Scares, Part 2

2006-10-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

Frequent readers of this blog (ha, that's funny, Lex...) might remember last year at this time, I did wrote an entry about Teddy Scares, a web site dedicated to teddy bears once alive, back from the grave, looking for owners....

Well, keeping with the theme of the month, I thought I'd let you know, dear reader, that Teddy Scares is back with a new bunch of undead bears, sure to scare your child straight into therapy.

Let me know what you think. I'm thinking the first bunch had more interesting names, but I'm old fashioned like that.

-la

'ello Poppet....Got Pirattitude?

2006-09-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

I think I might take off work tomorrow and celebrate.

Tomorrow is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! And, I work in a small office. So, in order to avoid becoming the office outcast, I figured I'd take the day off of work and run errands while talking and acting like a pirate.

At the grocery store:
Checkout Girl: "Did you find everything ok today, sir?"

Me: "Aye, poppet. Now bag thems there eggs all careful like, or I'll make ya walk the plank, deck wench!"

Checkout girl: "Um, ok...will that be cash or credit card?"

Me: "Avast! I will pay off this debt with gold doubloons, strumpet..."

At the bank:
Bank teller: "Can I help you, sir?"

Me: "I be makin' a bit of a withdrawal, you scurvy dog!"

Bank teller: "Well, sir, if I could just get you to fill out this form..."

Me: "Dispicable curd! Don't dare impugn me honor boy! Ye best lay me silver and gold down afore I leave your entrails for the creatures of the sea!"

Bank Teller: "Um, ok, sure thing...SECURITY!"

On the way to the police station:
Officer: "You have the right to remain silent..."

Me: "What in the name of Davy Jones kelp-festooned locker...?"

Officer: "Sir, anything you say can and will be held against you..."

Me: "Aarrr, let go of me afore I go keelhauling ye wretched son-of-a-wench..."

Officer: "Stun gun! Take him down!"

In jail (after regaining consciousness):
My wife: "What the hell happened, Lex? They told me your were going all over town acting and talking like a pirate? WTF?"

Me: "I be pillagin' and plunderin'. Tis' National Talk Like a Pirate Day!"

My wife: "Have you been drinking again? How much have you had to drink?"

Me: "Aye-aye, I be tastin' all manner of tasty rums and ales today, poppet...Davy Jones locker! Don't ye be lookin' fine today!"

My wife: "Lex, you're drunk...why don't we just get you home and..."

Me: "So ye can show me the map to ye treasure chest? Aye-aye!"

My wife: "Dammit, Lex...get in the car...."

Ok, it might not end up so well, but it would be a hell of a lot of fun. And, of course, I might not be the best pirate you've ever heard of, but, hey, you have heard of me, right?

-la

PS: Special thanks to my sister-in-law for notifying me of this holiday. Without her e-mail, I would have had to go to work instead of getting arrested. Thanks!

Everyone's Dyin' to Get In....

2006-08-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

Surfing the great web way this morning, I was on BoingBoing and happened upon an interesting article on death. No, Lex is not trying to be a bummer. But, it's a natural fact of life that we'll all be worm food some day.

Anyway, the BoingBoing site lead to a link that provided a list of 20 Things You Didn't Know About Death. Pretty interesting stuff. For example, #3 states that no American has died of old age since 1951. Hmm. How do we know this? Because the gov't removed the classification from death certificates the same year? I'm thinking it was likely chaged to 'natural causes' or something similar.

After reading about the environmental impacts of being buried vs. cremation, it makes me want to have my mortal coil shipped off to Sweden to be processed by Promessa. Sounds like I'd get to be fertilizer a lot sooner and wouldn't pollute the environment. No, I'm not being all treehugger here (ok, maybe a bit), but there was a news story here in OKC last week where this woman went to visit her husband's body that was in a mausoleum, and the body in a chamber above it wasn't prepared with, well, let's just say 'proper emballming techniques' and was dripping (or maybe melting is a better word) down onto her husband. How do you even begin to think about how to clean that up? Talk about biohazard. And, well, just plain gross. The sad thing is that it didn't appear that the family of the snowman really cared whether Frosty melted or not.

I felt bad for the lady, because she probably spent a boatload of money on the casket, emballming, the mausoleum, flowers, etc. That would suck.

Well, there's bound to be some problems. After all, #20 said that over 100 billion people have died since the people were around.

Anyway, to end this on a higher note, here are a few true epitaphs:

Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

Well, time to kill this entry. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Stay healthy, ya'll.

-la

10,000 Reasons Why Civilization is Doomed

2006-08-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

Nice to be back after a bit of a break. It's always good to restore the creative juices and then let loose on you all. Ok, so about 2 people read this thing. It's my own fault for not posting regularly, but, hey life happens. The wee one is getting big and I forgot how much time it takes being a new dad again. On top of it all, the older son started playing tackle football a few weeks ago. Anyone who has seen movies like Friday Night Lights or Remember the Titans or even watches the MTV reality series called Two-a-Days, knows that southern football is taken very seriously. No lie. He practices four times a week. Which, of course, means that I'm at practices 4 times a week, too.

But, as Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." So, the show must go on. Anyway, enough excuses as to why the blog sometimes takes a backseat to life events.

So, on with the show.

If you ever watch more than 20 seconds of news during the day, you might think that the world is pretty much doomed and that we're all doing to die in the next 24 hours. Well, it sure makes me feel this way most of the time. Yet, it's like watching a trainwreck. You can't just look away. Sure, sometimes I do. I try to think happy thoughts. Go to my happy place. They love me there. But, then I'll wake up, the naked women will be gone, and I'm left feeling rather empty. So, what do I do? Well, usually I go in search of inspiration on the good ol' InterWeb.

Of course, this morning, that plan was thwarted when I came across this wonderful little web site. The fact that Paris Hilton came in at the top of the list isn't surprising. Disturbing, to me, however, is the fact that I learned that there is this swirling mass in the Pacific Ocean called the North Pacific Gyre that apparently has been slowly filling with garbage, specifically plastic, which then works its way into the ecosystem through ingestion by various lifeforms. Apparently, it was the Gyre that was responsible for the great Nike shoe disaster of 1990. And, because it has taken on so much garbage, the Gyre is now called the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. I wish we could clean it up. Most people, at this point, would get all treehugger bitchslap on me with a defensive "Why would you wanna waste my tax dollars on that?" Because it's the environment, stupid. Yeah, yeah, I know, there's more important stuff that should be dealt with first. Global warming, rainforests, ozone layer depletion, Paris Hilton.

And, to be honest, how would one go about cleaning up a vortex anyway, even if you could? I guess the answer would be: a really BIG net.

But, anyway, back to the list. There are some stupid entries and some that should worry you (Do not click on #62 if you are easily grossed out...after I saw that, the list lost a lot of validity for me...ok, after I saw Paris Hilton in the #1 spot, the list lost lots of validity for me.)

So, go find inspiration where you can. Like Very Funny Ads or some such place. Might not be inspiring, but it will make you laugh. That's half the battle, ain't it?

-la

Do the Humpty-Hump

2006-08-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

I own a SUV. But, it's an old Blazer. It serves my needs, but it's starting to show it's age. I'd love to get a new SUV. I even thought about getting a Hummer at one time. No, not the Arnold Schwarzenegger old-school military-style H1 or even the barely-fits-in-one-lane H2. The H3...? Well, maybe. But I guess I wouldn't get one simply because of the stigma attached to it. It just seems like too much. Excessive. Cool, but excessive.

And, of course there's the gas mileage issue. Does the H3 really do that bad on the gas mileage? Actually, no. Not any worse than my Blazer. My Blazer, according to the specs, is supposed to get between 15-17 mpg city and 18-23 highway. Bullshit. In this heat, with the AC on full all the time? It's more like 10 city and 12 highway. I have a constant whirlpool in the tank, folks.

The Hummer H3, which then actually scores about the same as my Blazer, but has that 'he's got a pair for owning one of those given the gas prices' aire about it, is a pretty cool SUV.

But, still, owning one of those things makes a social statement. Maybe that's why I won't own one. I don't feel compelled to make any social statements with the car I drive. Other people, well, they buy the H3, and make their statements. Maybe it's a passive-agressive thing.

So, if you do decide to buy one, be warned. You're making a social statement. And, some people may not like it.

Like these guys: They hump hummers.

I'm not making this up. No one could make this up, people. Click the link above and watch the videos. It's true.

Must be. I saw it on the Internet.

-la

Inspired by Marshmallow Shooters

2006-08-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

Just when you think you've seen it all, something like this comes along.

Wow.

-la

Why Bunnies?

2006-07-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

Saw this, um, thing, this morning and I'm not quite sure how to respond to it.

I guess my first question is, "Why?"

The company does try and explain its usefulness to me, but this is something more aimed at the Japanese schoolgirl crowd than, say, oh....anyone else.

Of course, me being me, I was reminded of a recent article I read in Wired on teledildonics.

-la

Ok, I can die now....

2006-07-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

I think I can die now.

"Ok, Lex, I'll bite...why can you die now?" one might ask.

Because, dear reader, I now can say, with relative certainty, that I've seen it all.

"What, oh what, can you mean, Lex?"

This link sums it all up.

Sweet peace, take me now!

-la

Hot Hot Hot

2006-07-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I thought I'd bust in and break up the moment of silence I've been having for, oh, a month now (!) and gritch about how hot it's been here in sunny Oklahoma as of late.

The picture below shows the inside of my SUV when I went to start it up the other day.

Roads are starting to buckle, there's extreme fire danger, EMS is getting worn out saving people with heat-related problems. Basically, it's yucky and makes you want to do nothing except stay inside and watch the telly. Going to the pool isn't even any fun. Who the hell wants to take of 80% of their clothes off in heat like this? I'm already a walking cancer billboard for 'He who should not venture out into the sun'.

I really can't wait to see the aftermath of all of this. I'm talking about my electric bill, here, folks. I see myself having to take out a second mortgage on the house just to pay for this past month.

Oh, but hey, some good news.

A cold front is coming through tomorrow. No lie. The weatherman said so.

It's only going to be 95 tomorrow.

The interesting thing about that is 95 is still 15 degrees cooler than it will be today.

Stay cool,
-la

The Ultimate Man Toy

2006-06-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't an x-rated post. Stop shielding your eyes.

Today, as I was surfing lightly on the gentle waves of the web-o-verse, I came across the Ultimate Man Toy.

Every man has an innate and primal need to take ownership of the household remote control. After all, he who owns the remote, owns the universe...er, something like that.

DirecTV has released the DirecTV Titanium Package.

And, if you don't mind, I have to interject here: Hol-ee Cah-rap.

Coming in at a whopping $7500.00 a year, you get control of everything that ever has and will appear on a TV. It also comes with 10 HD DVRs....you know, because everyone needs an HD DVR in the bathroom, the laundry room, the attic, and the basement.

Oh yeah, they even throw in a concierge service...although I'm not sure what that entails. Must mean that they come over and pry the grubby remote out of your little sausage fingers once a month and give you a good slap to see if your fat, couch-potato ass is still alive.

And, you might want to hurry. If you read the fine print, it says that Membership is reserved for a select few. Titanium is available for one yearly payment of $7,500. Available 6/28/06.

Crawl, don't walk to the nearest DirecTV dealer.

-la

What the...?

2006-06-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

A cat reality show? You have got to be freakin' kidding me, man.

Yes, cheap, plentiful, and pathetic as it is, reality television has hit yet another new low. Watch the "contestants" of the Meow Mix House as they vie for the coveted top prize of a year's worth of Meow Mix cat food and the esteemed title of "VP of Research and Development for Meow Mix". However, instead of being voted off, patted on the butt, and told to go off and try to prosper in this cold, hard world, they are, in a much more poltically correct move, adopted by loving families. Loving families who get a year's worth of Meow Mix gratis. Have you ever priced out that stuff? It ain't cheap.

You watch, after a year, when the free grub train rolls out of the station, most of these cats will be out on their furry little butts, doomed to scrounge for scraps in alleyways and garbage cans.

I wonder if the winning cat will get a six-figure income and an executive parking spot to go with that title. Or is that handed to the person who "adopts" the cat at the end of the show...? If so, sign me up. Hell, I've got three of the damn furballs lying about Casa del Armenia now anyway. It would be nice to have one earning his keep.

-la

Mobility

2006-06-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

The munchkin is VERY close to crawling. He's taken up sleeping on his little round belly at night and snores like a sailor. Kinda interesting, too, because he belches like one too. I swear I'm noticing a theme here.

The other day Momma was changing him and all of a sudden I hear a high-pitched scream. I run, at breakneck speed, into the bedroom from which the wail emanated, and there the wife is on the floor, covered in goo. I immediately thought of Dr. Venkman and expected her to say "He slimed me." But, alas, it was simply baby urine. I was kinda bummed, too. I was hoping to strap on my unlicensed nuclear accelerator and go huntin'.

Oh well, maybe next time. After all, we haven't hit the terrible two's yet. And, we've just now started with the closer-to-real food, which is sure to bring its own interesting, um, developments.

-la

Lazy Bastard

2006-06-19T13:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, I haven't been posting.

"Nothing going on in your life, Lex?" you might ask.

Yeah, right. If only....

Lots going on, but mostly biusy stuff...nothing to blog about, as it were. Although, I had a great Father's Day weekend. Saw a few movies including Cars and Nacho Libre (avoid Nacho Libre...unless you're just a glutton for punishment...) and watched a few noteworthy things including the anime film, "The Cat Returns" which, despite the fact that it was about, well, cats, it was very entertaining. Also, I think this weeks's episode of Entourage was the best I've seen so far.

What else? Oh, yeah: trying not to cross the line of 'Thou shall not blog about thy workplace' I was informed last week that the guy who helps me out with the some of the admin duties around the orifice is moving on to greener pastures. Lovely. I wish him well, I really do. And, he and his wife have been trying to move back east to be closer to their respective families for some time. I'll be sad to see him go, but you gotta do what you gotta do. So, in that regard, I wish him the best.

-la

Don't Be So Nosey

2006-05-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

You might remember some time ago that I mentioned how my wife tends to snore on occassion. Ok, maybe that's a bit of an understatement. She's done it since I've known her. It was bad then, but eventually it got worse when she became pregnant with our son. Actually, worse isn't an apt description. It became intolerable. I couldn't sleep very well and when I did I would wake up in the morning and notice I couldn't hear out of my right ear as well. I feared that repeated exposure to this kind of noise would make me go deaf.

So, I moved. I have been sleeping in the guest bedroom ever since. This has been working out great. Well, except when we actually have guests.

However, to her credit, she has readily taken steps to rectify the situation, and hopefully, eventually allow me to come back to bed.

First, she participated in a sleep study. The results of this were interesting as it showed she has restless legs. She didn't know that and neither did I. Probably because the snoring made everything in the bed vibrate, in essence masking any motion of her legs.

The results of the study also indicated that she woke herself up around 124 times an hour, never allowing herself to get into a good REM sleep. Me either.

In other words, the quality of her sleep sucked.

Before she had the study, we talked about the possible treatments. I had narrowed it down to four:

The wife wearing a CPAP (Continuous Positive Air Pressure) device. Basically, a device you have to strap on to your face every night that forces your airway open and that makes a Darth Vader sound all night long. Neither one of us saw this as a viable option. Especially after seeing Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith. I just know I'd have recurring dreams of Vader in that lava.

Drugs. A great short-term solution perhaps, but sleeper's crack tends to only treat the symptoms and isn't a cure for snoring.

Surgery. Remove some scar tissue in her throat and fix a terribly deviated septum. This would hopefully clear the airway enough to stop the madness.

Nothing. We continue to sleep in separate rooms.

Yep, she chose the surgery. It happened last week. She recovered over the weekend and is about to have her nose "splint" removed tomorrow. Which is good, because she says it's starting to itch.

Has it helped? Don't know yet. I'm still sleeping downstairs until she gets the OK from the doc. In case you haven't figured it out, I REALLY value my sleep. My wife values my sleep too, because she knows that without it, I'm, well, unpleasant to be around.

Me, unpleasant? Sure you jest! (No, I don't and don't call me Shirley - insert rim shot here...) Yes, there's proof. If you believe my wife anyway.

Stay tuned and I'll let you know how this plays out.

-la

Ask a Ninja

2006-05-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

If I were ever to interview Lance Manion's Office Ninja, I suspect this is what the interview would go like:

Ask a Ninja

Or, maybe more like this exerpt on Net Neutrality, on Ask a Ninja.com. Yeah, it'd probably be more like that. Despite the lack of backup singers.

-la

Superheroes on the Toilet

2006-05-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm a guy. Yes, potty humor is still funny. I did mention I was a guy, right?

Came across this tonight.

Superheroes on the Toilet

Funny sh*& (um, so to speak...)

-la

...ah....ah....atchoo!!!

2006-05-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

One thing I noticed when I moved to Oklahoma several
years ago was the high degree of allergens in the air
and the sheer number of people who had allergies. And,
I don't mean the occassional sniffle.

As a young Lex growing up, my dad, Papa Armenia, had
allergies. He'd sneeze a lot in the springtime. He
used to say that it was hay fever and that it would go
away by summer. But, upon reflection, it must have been
pretty bad, bcause there were a lot of times that he
would be laid out by allergy medication for an entire
afternoon.

The wife has allergies, too. She sneezes a lot, takes
lots of meds, and as a young girl even took allergy
shots.

I think I got lucky. I don't seem to have allergies.
Well, I used to think I didn't until I was visiting a
friend of mine who had a cat. I pet the cat and then
inadvertently rubbed my eyes without first washing my
hands. Then, all hell broke loose. From that point, I
vowed that I would never own a cat.

Or so I thought...

When I met the future Mrs. Armenia, the only reservation
I had about the whole situation was that she owned not
one, not two, but three cats. She calmly explained to
me that all I needed to do was suffer for about a year
and I would build up an immunity to them. I hate to
admit that she was right and that I'm now the
not-so-proud owner of three cats. Granted, the cats we
own today are a different set than those that "broke me
in".

However, they are still cats. We have friends
that come over occassionally that haven't been through
the gauntlet. Their exposure to the fuzzy little life
forms is limited and they always leave sneezing. After
departing with the usual pleasantries, I picture them
driving home at breakneck speed so that they can jump
into a decon shower and spray themselves off as if
they'd been contaminated with ricin.

Yeah, I used to do that, too. (Shh...don't tell my
wife!)

Now, thanks to modern technology and advances in
science, this typical situation can now be avoided.

What on earth are you talking about, Lex?

Glad you asked.

My sister-in-law recently sent me an advertisement for
Allerca, a company that breeds what they call "lifestyle pets".

Lifestyle pets? Hmm...sounds kinky.

In reality, Allerca is a company that breeds
hypoallergenic cats. Yes, you read that right. Using
"interpretive biodiagnostics" Allerca has genetically
modified Fluffy in order to control your sneezin' and
wheezin'.

Now why the hell didn't they have this like, oh, 5 years
ago? Would have made my life much easier.

However, there are always drawbacks. For one, the
price. "Allerca GD (genetic divergence) kittens are
priced at US$3950.00."

The ad goes on to say that "The ALLERCA hypoallergenic
cat will allow consumers to enjoy the love and
companionship of a pet without the cost, inconvenience,
risk, and limited effectiveness of current allergy
treatments."

Without the cost...of current allergy treatments?

I dunno, man. I can buy a crapload of Benedryl for four
thousand bucks. Hell, I can buy a crapload of Benedryl
and a new flat panel plasma TV for four thousand bucks.

So, is it worth it? Some people would say yes. Of
course, these are the same people who probably have
allergies so bad and like their pets so much that
spending any amount of money is worth it. These are the
same people whose pets get regular checkups, get their
teeth cleaned regularly, and have their own health
insurance...

Oops, wait, we do all that...well, my WIFE does all
that. I just don't say no. You know, because I'm not
allowed.

Ugh, I feel so emasculated right now.

Anyway, back to the point. What was the point?
Oh yeah...don't spend $4000 on a cat that doesn't
make you sneeze. Unless you react SO badly that
you keep Eppie pens all over the house just in case
Fluffy rubs up against your unprotected leg.

Otherwise just do what I had to do: buy Benedryl
and suffer.

-la

Hold My Beer and Watch This...!

2006-04-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

Ah, tornado season in Oklahoma.

I'm sitting here watching the local news channel issue a tornado warning...I'm actually watching one forming on the news right in front of me.

"Zoom in! Zoom in! Zoom in!!!"

"Tornado on the ground, debris in the air!!!!'

"Tornado is on the ground!"

"Go to the chopper...Jim in in the Channel 4 Helicopter...tell us what you see!"

"It's beginning to tornado near El Reno!"

...sound of thunder drawing closer to Casa del Armenia

A rope tornado forms on the tv in front of me. Debris beginning to stir in a field....not near a town yet, but it's REALLY close to one....

"It's growing from Chopper 4 here....could drop a very large tornado, Mike....this is happening on live TV right here from Chopper 4, Mike!"

The trunk of the tornado is getting thicker. The tornado is shifting toward I-40, and probably lots of traffic...it's still in farmland at this time...

cow!

another cow!

I think that was the same cow...

Hmm...they just mentioned NW Expressway....not good. The wife's parents live near there....

The wife just called her mother and told her to turn on the TV.

Only a weak F1 rope, but it's inching closer to I-40....

"Oh my god, it's crazy! Funnel tornado on the ground, Mike....150-180mph winds...."

"another tornado is forming just south of the firs one...golf ball size hail coming out of this super cell...."

"No rope down, but you can see churning dust....see a small cone coming out of the clouds...starting to really churn, I can see a lot of dirt now....we've got two areas we've gotta worry about now Mike...."

"The original one disspated, Mike....the second one is getting strong faster...very close to El Reno Airport..."

I'm watching as this second tornado is heading toward a building at the airport....I'm thinking this hangar is toast.....

Here it goes.....

The roof is gone...sucking it right up in the air...just took the hangars out....

Ate it whole....

Freakin' amazing to watch....

Heading toward a large pond now....

"Starting to dissipate....still churning up ground, there's a farm close by...if people are listening, take your tornado precautions now...."

garbled broadcast from David Payne...we can see his car in the shot from Chopper 4....

Here goes some storage tanks.....right over top of them....the tanks survive.....

Into a field now....still on the ground, but dissipating....

more thunder at the homestead, just for effect, I think....

"Just south of El Reno, there's a hook echo....so if you live around Union City, take your tornado precautions..."

...And so it goes....

I love this time of year. It's the only place I've ever lived where the weather is a spectator sport. Tonight, the storms are headed our way, and, hopefully, we'll dodge the bullet again...but, it's only late April...May is the worst month for tornadoes in Oklahoma. And, it's shaping up to be an active year...

-la

The wife's parents just called and they're grabbing their cat leaving their house and coming to find refuge here until this thing blows over. It's gonna be a wild ride. Hope they get out in time....

Weather is here, wish you were beautiful

2006-04-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a reminder that we live in what used to be the dust bowl. Spring time in Oklahoma is interesting. The weather is extremely unstable and today's was no exception. In addition to the high winds, severe thunderstorms, and tornadoes, we had dust storms and more fires. The pics below show the brown haze in the atmosphere from all the dust. Yuck. It's like L.A.'s smog on steroids. Yeah, that bad.

I drove through this crap and you could see the dust in the car. Figures, too, since I just got the ol' chariot cleaned.

Ah, good times.

-la

The Suspect

2006-04-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

As anyone who reads this blog knows, I have a
new son...new in the sense that he's 4 months
old and still in the probationary delicate
phase. Once he moves past this phase
(starting about age 6 months or so) then I get
to start doing all those cool Dad things like
throw the kid up in the air and actually even
catch him sometimes.

But that, in all it's fun, could be the
underlying reason why women view men as these
big, clumsy creatures who aren't capable of
the subtleties of child rearing. The other
day, for example, I took my new kiddo to his
daycare and I picked him up from there after
work. A typical day in the Life of Lex.

However, every time I do this, I get the sense
that all the women that work in the place (and
it's always women, never men...not even the
Brokeback Mountain kind) are watching me as if
I'm suddenly going to do A REALLY BAD THING
like drop the baby on his head or something.
When I walk in the door with him, you can
actually see them move to the edges of their
seats, ready to spring into some kind of
hazy-focus slow motion action sequence where
they're yelling a deep-pitched "NOOOOOOOOOO"
as they run to stop me from doing the REALLY
BAD THING.

Of course, I've seen this before. We all do
it. Don't think so? Try letting your wife or
girlfriend play a game of Quake 3 Arena or
UT2K4 for 5 minutes while you sit and watch
over her shoulder.

Ok, now try the same experiment again. This
time you aren't allowed to say anything.

How'd that work for ya? How's the old blood
pressure? High, isn't it?

To a degree it's the same thing. The daycare
women look at me suspiciously, as if because
I'm male, I'm a caveman. Sure, I get my baby
boy to laugh by making farting sounds. And
yes, I'm working him up to "pull my finger"
jokes, but I don't think that's reason enough
for them to think, "I just know that's the
last time we're gonna see that kid," as I walk
out the door at the end of the day.

My older son, J, will be 10 this year. I've
been dealing with this for a long time now.
I'm sure my wife doesn't get this. Because,
after all, she's female, like she's
automatically part of an elite group or
something. And, no, I'm not implying in any
way, shape, or form, that I want to be a
woman. You couldn't pay me enough. No way.

Still, it would be neat to be know the secret
handshake once in awhile.

As the baby's Dad, they have to accept me by
default, but I suspect they don't like it.
But, hell, that's ok. And, just to irk them, I
will keep showing up at the daycare with the
baby once or twice a week. And, every once in
awhile, I'll toss him up in the air for
effect. You know, just to keep it
interesting.

-la

So. Totally. Disturbing.

2006-03-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

The other day The Wife sorted through the mail and came across something, addressed to me, that was most disturbing.

It was what looked to be a sympathy card or something. On the front there was a black and white heart with two big, goopy teardrops falling off one side, as if the heart was weeping. "Um, ok," I said. "What's this?"

"Just read it," she said.

So I opened it up and read the following disturbing message:

Lex -

Our love began with a glance across a parking lot.
You possessed me in just a few days.
I remember long drives through the countryside,
And long weekend getaways.

But the years passed, and like upholostery in the hot sun,
Your love began to fade.
And now in a time when I need your care the most,
You hit the blinker and turn away.

And while our gas tank of love may be running on fumes,
We need not go through this alone.
For if you still have a quart of tenderness left for me in your heart,
You'll take me back to the car care professionals at Firestone.

Love,
Your Car.

Ok, I don't mind telling you that with the Wife handing me this and reading those first few lines had me a bit on edge. And, for the record, I must state that I'm totally loyal to the Wife, but after reading that, I'm thinking that some freak from my past was haunting me again...bad poetry and all. Damn stalkers.

But, really...isn't this just a bit freakin' creepy? I hate to tell the people at Firestone, but I didn't get any warm fuzzies from this. Actually, it made me worried for my poor car. I'm not sure if I'd want to take it back there or not. If I did, would I have to supervise? Would they violate my poor, defenseless car when I wasn't looking? Have their way with it? Do indescribable things?

I shudder at the thought.

On the other hand, they did include some kick-ass coupons for my next oil change.

-la

Pimp My Box

2006-03-24T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here flippin' channels and I came across 'Trick My Truck' on CMT (yes, the Country Music Television station). Normally, I wouldn't even stop on CMT, but I kinda dig those fixemup shows.

And, it got me thinking...there should be a geek show called Pimp My Box where a band of computer geeks go around to people's houses and pimp out their computers.

Alienware, Falcon NW, and all the rest would be amateur hour compared to these guys.

The scene would be like this:

An unassuming middle-aged man sits home in his boxers and a greasy t-shirt, beer in one hand, keyboard in the other. The glow of a crappy 15' monitor illuminates the room.

All of a sudden, the door flies open and in a haze of cheap cologne and poor fashion sense, stand the PMB Krew.

"We're here to Pimp Your Box!" they yell, sportin' large hard drives, LCD monitors, high-end graphics cards, and a water-cooling system.

Of course, Mr. Unassuming has since hit the floor, thinking it was another raid. And, he's soiled himself. And, it was all caught on film. You know, for that reality TV flava we all know and love.

Yeah, maybe it's not such a great idea after all.

Bah.

-la

Failed show titles: "Pimp My 'Puter", "Trick My (USB) Stick", "Trading SCSIs", and "While Your Hard Drive Was Out".

The Bitchslap Mail Filter

2006-03-21T13:12:00.000-08:00

My colleague and normally good-natured apl, J, called me awhile ago. Just to set this up right, he's usually a very laid-back guy. But, like me and everyone I know, he has a few pet peeves. When something gets "stuck in his craw" as my grandpappy used to say, ya better watch out.

The call went something like this:

L: ...This is Lex, can I help you?
J: Yo!
L: Yo...s'up g-money?
J: I have a request for some software.
L: M'kay. Whatchya need?
J: I need the Bitchslap Mail Filter installed on my PC. It's a mail filter that detects the dumbass stuff people do, reaches through their monitors, and bitchslaps them silly.
L: Umm...
J: I just got this 1-page PDF file from HR and it was over 2MB. I hate it when people do crap like that. It crashed Outlook!
L: It's not like it takes much to crash Outlook, dude.
J: Yeah, but they could have used smaller graphics, better compression, anything.
L: I agree...maybe we could develop The Bitchslap Filter and market it. I bet we could retire in less than a year. We'd be totally rich because EVERYONE would want one. Face it, how many times have you just wanted to spank someone's face for the stupid things they do? Me? Plenty.

And so it went...us plotting the takeover of the free world by using TBF. Just to be sure this idea was original though, I googled "The Bitchslap Filter" and came up with paydirt: nothing. So, no one has thought of it yet.

Bwahahaha!

I rule. Well, ok, my friend J rules. But I know him, so I rule too.

-la

NINJA in a can

2006-03-21T12:36:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help but be reminded of the Office Ninja when I saw this. In fact, this could easily be one of the Office Ninja's weapons of mass distraction!

Get some today!

-la

PS I was happy to see if can be used on Imperial Walkers. Mine are always getting dust in the worst places.

Errata

2006-03-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've finally recovered from my hangover last weekend. ;)

Actually, we've been out partying some more. This past weekend didn't include as much drinkage as the previous, but we did play blackjack at a friend's birthday party and I won some margarita glasses, which I'm sure will be put to good use soon.

Anyway, on with the show...

A buddy of mine from NY sent me this the other day...thought I'd share with all you sci-fi geeks out there:

---------------------
Star Wars Show To Run Long?

George Lucas' longtime producing partner Rick McCallum told the BBC that a proposed Star Wars TV series will run for at least 100 episodes.

Speaking to BBC Radio 1, McCallum said the show's writing team would soon be meeting to start on the project, which would begin filming in 2008 and be ready the same year. "Hopefully, if we can make it work and everybody's excited and watches it, we will keep on going," McCallum told the BBC.

The series will be set between Episode III and IV of the film saga and will cover the 20 years in the life of Luke Skywalker growing up. McCallum said there would be "a whole bunch of new characters" and the series would be "much more dramatic and darker." He added that it was unlikely any of the stars of the movies would be involved in the TV series.

A typical prime-time network TV show airs about 22 episodes in a season.
----------------------------------------

Also, I read today that MS is finally going to release Halo 2 for the PC. What's the catch? Of course, you knew there would be one: it will likely only run on Vista.

Finally, from the Why-Didn't-I-Think-of-This department:
Roomba Take Frogger to the Asphalt Jungle

Finis,
-la

One is not enough, two is too many...

2006-03-12T05:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, had to scrap that last entry and revise. We threw the annual February Birthday Bash last night. Friends got together at our house and constructed homemade pizza...you know....the whole eat, drink, and be merry thing. Good food, music, and drinks flowed freely.

The most important lesson of the night: Never blog when you've been drinking.

I reread the entry before deleting it and went, "I wrote that?" I had spelled tranquility as 'trankwility'....like I'm Sylvester teh Cat or somehthing.

The thing I'm going to do right now: Go back to bed. For several hours. And drink lots of water.

Yowza.

-la

Sublime

2006-03-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

Saw this today. Very, um, cool....as it were.

From Boiling to Frozen

Growing up as a young Lex in upstate NY, we had cold like this. Instead of throwing boiling water into the air, though, I'd dare my friends to stick their tongues to metal poles.

Or we'd have spitting contests to see how far the spit would go before it turned into an iceball.

Frozen snot after snowmobiling in sub-zero temps is always interesting, too. You just never knew whether or not half of your nose and lips was going to peel off or not when you finally did get inside. The best strategy was always to get warm and wait for the thaw. Best strategy, but messy.

-la

Cats 'n' Racks

2006-03-05T20:15:00.000-08:00

The wife is sitting beside me surfing some of her fav sites tonight while we're watching the Oscars, when she shows me this site called CuteOverload. It's a blog about cute animals....mostly kittens and such. Of course, the last time she showed me something like this it erupted into a controvery.

I was paying more attention to the Oscars than her insistence that I look at this kitten and that one. That was until she vistited a part of CuteOverload called Cats'n'Racks (4th from the top in the Categories list).

Yes, it is what you think. This part of the site is not very, um, filled out yet. But I'm hoping that it will be soon. Especially if I can convince her to submit a picture.

Although when I suggested that, I got "The Look". You know the one.

-la

A Meditation on the Speed Limit

2006-03-03T20:31:00.000-08:00

This is very cool.

I caught this in one of my usual haunts, Google Video.

A Meditation on the Speed Limit.

I could have done something like this when I was in grad school in Beantown. Maybe with Lance's help...or his office ninja persona.

Although, if I was going to organize something like this, my line of cars would have been a bit more, well, let's just use the term "industrial". Picture that scene from "The Road Warrior". You know the one. When Mel's kicking ass.

In reality, though, I can't picture Bostonians putting up with this for very long. Law or not. And, there would likely be guns. Little old grandmothers with pea shooters. The whole gamut.

-la

Oh, and one other comment:
Who names their kid 'Ferril'?

Dart Maps

2006-03-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

Anyone going to Dublin, Ireland in the near future?

If so, and I know just so many of you have that in your plans, then you should check this out:

I wish they'd had one of these when I lived in ol' Beantown. I'd have known when to run to the station to catch the T. Yes, I can be so ADHD sometimes that I don't even want to wait an extra five minutes for a train. So sue me.

Bah...all of you.

-la

"To sleep, perchance to dream- ay, there's the rub." Not for this guy.

2006-03-03T20:03:00.000-08:00

I read a headline the other day about a Vietnam man being alive for the last 30 years...without SLEEP.

Dude, come on! Where the hell do I sign up? I mean, I have chronic insomnia anyway....why can't I not be miserable after not sleeping all night...let alone the past 30 years?

You might be thinking this is some kind of urban legend or something. Can't be. After all, I saw it on the Internet, so it must be true. (Can I get an "Amen!" here people?)

While taking a break from studying the fine art of becoming a Vietnamese office ninja (see, I worked it in Lance...) I came across this article.

This guy is like Superman or something. No sleep for thirty years and he can hold his drink:

'His wife said, “My husband used to sleep well, but these days, even liquor cannot put him down.”'

It makes me wanna hop the next plane to Vietnam and party with this guy.

-la

Assorted Interesting Stuff

2006-03-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

Due to serious time constraints this week, I'm cheating. Totally cheating. Like plagiarizing cheating. My buddy J sent this to me. I didn't even edit for comments.

Obligatory disclaimer: The stuff that appears below is not for the kids, folks. This be all-growed up-type humor.

Ultimate Showdown
http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

The Juggernaut Bitch
http://www.fazed.org/video/embed/?id=63

Sicko Marriage Contract
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html?link=eaf

Funny, but not very original of me. Bad Lex, bad Lex...

-la

Wif-Fi on the Thames

2006-02-23T14:06:00.000-08:00

Since my buddy Lance Manion is on holiday across the pond, I thought of him when I saw this article today.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/23/wireless_thames/

Getting good Wi-Fi over there, Lance?

-la

I'm Game

2006-02-22T12:36:00.000-08:00

Went to a Hornets game the other night. They played the Portland Trailblazers, who, in the end, didn't blaze much of a trail.

The game came about because my sister-in-law bought me tickets for this past Christmas. Very cool gift by the way (um, for future reference, you know...) ;)

My original intention was to have a guy's night out. I figured I'd invite a few of the guys out to the game where we could cheer on the Hornets, leer at the Honey Bees, eat some burgers, drink some beer, burp, and scratch ourselves. You know...guy stuff.

Then, my buddy...I'll call him Steve for the purpose of this writing, was unable to go due to some work-related thing. Suddenly, I had an extra ticket. Damn.

Since none of the usual suspects could attend, I thought I'd do the right thing and ask my wife, who actually REALLY wanted to go. And, hell, she's cool. I mean, going with her is like having one of the guys there. Ok, well, maybe without the leering, burping, and scratching. Let's just say she brings a certain civility to the group. Probably much-needed civility.

The day of the show, I call the wife and ask her to look at the tickets and let me know where the seats are located. I'm looking at the Ford Center web site. She reads me the numbers. They aren't good. I tell her to bring oxygen. And binoculars. (There are Honeybees involved here, remember.)

That evening, we get to the Ford Center and meet my buddies outside. Dude K (yeah, it's a pseudonym...so what?) was sitting outside by the Ford 150 pickup display waiting for us. I say sitting because a few weeks prior to this outing, he was playing basketball when all of a sudden he felt his Achilles tendon rip away from the bone in his heel. Not a good thing. He's opted to forego surgery, but that's put him in a hard plastic boot on his left foot. Oh, that, and crutches. He can't put any weight on his foot. At all.

So, we head inside. We got there early to get something to eat. Like I mentioned: Burgers and beer. I ask an attendant where the seats are located. He tells us to go up two escalators then we have to walk around almost all the way around the back of the Ford Center. I'm thinking that this is going to suck out loud for Dude K, but there are three others. If we had to carry him we could. The attendant was even nice enough to mention that there was some handicap accessible seating available. But, Dude K is tenacious like that. No handicap seating for him.

So we ride up the first escalator. So far so good. Oh-oh. The next escalator is out. Of course. But, Dude K doesn't even miss a beat. He hops up the stairs on one leg. Crutches in one hand, railing in the other, hop, hop, hop....it made me sweat just watching him. And, he wasn't slow about it either.

So, then we walk around to our section and we go in. We're at the bottom of the section. I look up to where I think we have to go. Man, is it steep. I keep thinking that I really should have brought oxygen. Dude J, my other buddy who's with us jokes that we should build base camp here just in case the bad weather moves in. I'm starting to think maybe he's right.

I start up Kilimanjaro and scout for our seats. I'm looking from the seat letters to the tickets, back to the seat letters, back to the tickets. I keep climbing, careful not to look back lest I get hit with a wave of vertigo and topple off this sucker.

I finally reach row R: It's the farthest possible point from civilization inside the Ford Center.

On the other hand, I've always wanted to know what held up the ceiling of that place. Now I know.

The bad part here is that Dude K has to make it all the way up here. We're so high I can see clouds and small planes below us. I see him start up the stairs. And, man, he's hopping ON ONE LEG ALL THE WAY UP. I think he stopped once to catch his breath, but damn, he was a trooper. To illustrate just how far up we were, I've enclosed a picture of the court from our vantage point:

The banners that hang from the rafters around the upper deck cheap seats pronouce that you are in "Loud City". I think they only call it that because the printer left the 'C' off the word 'Loud'. Still, despite the lack of oxygen and high altitude, we had a great time watching the Hornets beat up on the Trailblazers. I thought for sure that some closer seats would open up so that we could move down once the game got started, but no. The Ford Center holds (someone told me) 19,250 people. There were 19,100 in attendance that Wednesday night. An amazing feat here in OKC.

Dude K and Dude J both had a great time. Even if Dude K now has one thigh the size of a redwood from the workout.

And, Mrs. A had a great time, too. She loved it, as a matter of fact, and would definitely go back. I'm sure we will, but I hope next time I can leave the oxygen at home.

-la

Small Amount of Cat? Nope, Large Amount of Crap.

2006-02-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

I was sitting last night watching part one of the Westminster Dog Show and it got me thinking about the insinuations that Lance Manion made against me. After all, it is a dog-eat-dog world out here in the blogosphere. If a guy doesn't defend himself with rational and well thought-out logic, then he finds himself getting cooked even more by the flames.

When I first read the post I pretty much thought that the time had come for ol' Lance to up his dosage. No big surprise there. If you've ever seen the guy play Quake, you'd know what I mean. BTW, you're not supposed to blow yourself up when you do those rocket jumps, m'man. ;)

Anyway, a lot of time has passed since this was first brought up and because I've been so damn busy with work, the wee one, the older wee one, the wife's birthday, Valentine's Day, studying, and all other manner of things, it seems like this is beyond yesterday's news. Still, I don't want Lance's rantings to go to waste, so here's what really happened.

Did I throw caution to the wind and run with scissors despite knowing how Lance would react to this news? Um, ok, maybe. Did I think he'd ever find out about the damn cat in the first place? No. I mean, come on. I live in Oklahoma. He's somewhere else that's not Oklahoma.

Here's the deal: I read one of Lance's blog entries regarding his current bumper crop o' kitties (I'm not going to link to it. If you care enough, go to his blog and dig through his archive yourself...), one of which he affectionately called Small Amount of Cat. I thought the name was funny and it kind of stuck in my head. Fast forward a few weeks. I come home one night and find this waiting for
me. You all remember this.

So, I'd read about Lance's Small Amount of Cat and I happened to call the new kitten that a few times. My wife thought it was hilarious and it stuck. I didn't discourage her from using it because, well, I never thought Lance would find out.

I mean, I live in Oklahoma. He lives somewhere else that's not Oklahoma.

After hearing Small Amount of Cat a few hundred times, it got old. And, we still hadn't come up with an official name for the animal. And, calling her something like shithead wasn't too PC. It was then that a brilliant thought occurred to me.

"Let's see, Small Amount of Cat (SAC)....hmm, can't go around calling her SAC...."

Well, I could, but I probably wouldn't still be married. Besides, my next door
neighbor uses that acronym for his man-room. To him, it means "Spousal Avoidance Center". After all of this, I was spending a lot of time in my own SAC after blaming my wife for all this trouble.

Small Amount of Cat worked, but I knew that was what Lance called his bit o' trouble. "What if I change the C to a K?" Ok, Small Amount of Kat. Once again, couldn't go around calling her SAK. OK, how about SAKI? What should the 'I' stand for? Then it popped into my head: Incorporated. SAKI. Don't ask. I don't know where it came from either. To quote Akroyd in Ghostbusters, "It just popped into my head..."

"Yep, that's it." And, I happen to be a big fan of sake, the Japanese rice wine.

So, it fit. Alternate spelling included. Besides, I don't ever remember seeing any kind of copyright symbol on Lance's Small Amount of Cat moniker. I simply did what most people do these days...steal an idea, make it better, and call it my own.

Of course, now I'm going to copywrite it.

To this day, I'm unsure as to how Lance found out about the entry at DailyKitten.com. My wife was beaming when she found out that the pic of Saki that she sent in was chosen. And then her spirits were bolstered further at the number of comments left in response to the posting. I read through them and pointed out that yes, the comments were great. Yes, there were a lot of them. Yes, they came from all over the world including Australia. However, I got The Look when I pointed out that all the comments were left by women. Sad, lonely, cat women with nothing better to do than coo over a picture of our kitten being caught in the act of wreaking havoc in our other cat's food dishes.

The wife was so happy about this posting (as if she'd won the damn lottery or
something) that she called her immediate family and sent the link to just about
everyone in her address book. That might have included Lance. She didn't seem to be able to remember doing that, however.

And then a few days later, unbeknownst to me, this thing is growing like a virus. Out of nowhere, I get a call from a colleague and friend of mine. The call goes kind of like this:

"Dude, you have to read Mercenary Words."

I'm thinking...cool, Lance has written something funny again. And, I needed a break anyway.

"Dude, this time it's about YOU!"

"Oh shit, now what....? Well, it's either gonna be really good or really bad..."

I was hoping he wasn't going to mention The Ultimate or that time with that thing in that place with those people.

"Man, is he mad at you...! Wow...."

"I think I'm gonna have to have a little talk with Mrs. Armenia when I get home..."

And, that's what happened, folks. The whole story. Yes, my life is complicated.

Judge for yourself whether the Lance's flaming of yours truly was justified rage or not. Personally, I don't think so. Still, all he needs to know is that the BeefTasty is on it's way. If that's not enough, I'll officially rename the cat (like they do the dogs on Westmister) to "Madam Lance Manion Rocks You Like A Hurricane!"

I did mention it was a female cat, right?

Peace out...!
-la

Crack the Book

2006-01-31T18:59:00.000-08:00

The best laid plans....

I'd hoped having this new laptop at my disposal would allow me to write more, but alas, no such luck. Last week was crazy because I was in training all week long.

"What kind of training have you been doing, soldier?

"Army training, sir!!!" No, not really. Actually, it was computer training. I've now undertaken the task of getting certified. I guess I've known that I've always been certifiable and now I aim to prove it. Hey, wait, that didn't come out quite right... Anyway, now I know how to run Winders XP! Yeah, I know. Big whoop. 75% of the class material (a big 600-page Sybex book) was stuff I already knew. And, I did learn a few new tricks, which is always cool...some I've already put to use. There were only a few people in my class...7 total. Get this: the instructor took a week's worth of vacation from his regular job to teach this class. Most people go to the beach or the mountains. I even had a friend and her husband come to Oklahoma City of all places for two weeks for their honeymoon. Their honeymoon! Not Hawaii, not the Bahamas, not even Vegas! Oklahoma City! The ironic part is that she confessed to me later the best part about coming here was when they met up with me and we went to dinner. The Lex-man knows how to throw down. Word.

But I digress. Oh wait, that's the point of this blog. To digress.

Speaking of which, I'm currently sitting here watchin' Dubya give his state o' the nation. I refuse to discuss anything political on here, but I will say this one thing: Hillary needs to just go away. And, I don't mean Duff.

Well, I'm off to study for a bit. I did the class, but now I have to do the test. That's a whole different animal. And it ain't a fuzzy little kitten.

I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Cya.
-la

Elevator Rules

2006-01-19T13:57:00.000-08:00

Elevator Rules?

I'd compare this site to the rules imposed by Emily Post or some such uptight nitwit. Given the need for etiquette and societal norms today, I can see where some of these 'rules' (which I argue should be guidelines...) are, in fact, needed. Some of the 'rules' are just common sense. However, others aren't too well thought out.

For example, there's one rule that states that a person who is ill should simply wait until the elevator is free of others before riding. Um, ok. What if someone gets on at the next floor? What if you pass out trying to get to your damn doctor appointment because you were trying not to infect anyone else with ebola?

And, Moose, a long-time reader, first time caller, shares my frustration, when he declares in the comments section:

moose Says:
December 16th, 2005 at 3:53 pm
"what, no discussion of farting?!"

I agree, Moose. Sing it loud and sing it proud, brother! My advice, that the Elevator Rules site is so quick to leave out is that one can always point to the little old lady in the corner while fanning oneself. But, what if, by some circumstance, substantial evidence points directly to you? What do you do then, oh wise tome of knowledge? Ain't got that answer, do ya?

All I'm saying is that if you're going to put a web site up declaring "rules" and then publish a book on it, you better cover every angle.

'nuff said.

-la

How to Survive a Robot Uprising

2006-01-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

I think that if the robots ever really attacked, then I'd be screwed. My first reaction would be to go screaming like a little girl to a remote location in the mountains somewhere, living out my days like Grizzly Adams. However, with time to ponder my situation in my new found solitude, I would likely realize that having seen an infinite number of sci-fi movies throughout my life, that I'm being a bit hard on myself.

Because I could go all Tom Cruise on them and grow a bacterial fungus that will destroy the robots. Or, I could just destroy all lubricants so that they freeze up like the tin man in the Wizard of Oz (ok, maybe he's not really a robot, but robots need their lube, too....) I could befriend the robots and give them all names. But that would be hard, so I would just name them by numbers, my fav being, of course, Number 5. Maybe I'd come back to society, shave, and join US Robotics and prevent any self-aware robots from organizing a robot union. If I had an accident on my way down a mountain road on my way back to the world, I'd make the doctors design my innards to be part robot cop or force them to spend over $6 million to make me better, faster, stronger than I was before.

If I was to return at all.

Still, that's just me. You can find more ideas about how to deal with the inevitable robot uprising at this site. But, if this doesn't do it for you, feel free to just join me in the mountains.

-la

Of course, I always knew it...

2006-01-17T07:27:00.000-08:00

I was reading through some blog entries on another site and came across one of those damn quizzes...in this case, it's an old, but good one.

"Which Superhero are you?" I was thinking I'd end up being some kind of neutral, less-important character, like the Flash or something.

Instead, I end up being the Man of Steel. Yep, turns out that ol' Clark Kent and I have a lot of attributes in common. That is, if you discount my lack of being indestructible, inability to fly or shoot lasers from my eyes, and the fact that I'm a complete and utter weenie.

Then, I took the quiz, "Which Serenity character are you?" and I end up being Zoe Washburne. Of course, I would have much rather been Mal or Wash or even Jane. Nope, I end up being a female character. I'm not quite sure what that means.

Mayeb the combination of the two makes me more like Indiana Jones or something. I'm still looking for a "Which Indiana Jones character are you?" quiz. I'd love that one because you could be Indy, Indy, or Indy. Or the guy whose face melts at the end of the first movie when they open the Ark.

heh.
-la

Timing is Everything

2006-01-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

Ran across this tonight. Very cool gallery.

Timing is Everything

I'm not sure who is holding the cracker, but they are one brave individual.

-la

Star Trek + ColumbiaHouse = What?

2006-01-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sleep-deprived this morning. Insomnia combined with a fussy RTC didn't allow me to get to sleep until about 4am.

Though bleary-eyed and feeling hungover (no drinking involved, I swear...) I somehow managed to make it to work. Feeling pretty useless until the caffeine kicks in from the gallon of coffee I've already drunk, I decided to do what most people in my position would do: look busy by checking e-mail and surfing the web. It's amazing that any work gets done at all on Monday mornings. Anywhere.

So, I was scouring the web this morning and I came across something rather disturbing:

The William Shatner DVD Club.

Um, ok.

"Why?"

Get this:
"The iconic Captain Kirk has watched literally thousands of Sci-Fi, Horror, and Fantasy films and has selected his personal favorites for you. "

Yeah, right. I bet.

And this:
"You’ll receive gripping and enjoyable movies that most people haven’t heard of before, simply because they never received big marketing dollars or a broad studio release."

Marketing-speak for, "we're trying to get you to spend your hard-earned dollars on obscure B-movies that didn't receive 'big marketing dollars' for a reason. That reason being that they suck."

I'm as much of an sci-fi, fantasy, horror fan as the next geek, but come on.

I know, you're thinking, "Lex, your punchy today. Dude, you need sleep."

I couldn't agree more. If I actually had a real office then I'd shut the door and paste an, "In a Meeting, Do Not Disturb" sign on it. But, alas, I must persevere, subsisting on caffeinated beverages.

Yawn.
-la

I Should Be Drunk All the Time...

2006-01-13T09:42:00.000-08:00

I was blog surfing and came across this article about IT stressing people in the U.K. to drink.

Something about the first paragraph just made me giggle.

Then I got to thinking. If users are this stressed about IT-related issues, then I should already be started on my daily bender.

Cheers!

-la

Belated Party

2006-01-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

You gotta love this. The geniuses in management decided not to throw a Christmas party (whoops...that's not PC...) Holiday Party back when it was, oh, the holiday season, and have decided rather than just forego the damn thing altogether, to have it the third Friday in January.

I, for one, am no longer in a holiday mood. I don't know about you, but the last damn thing I feel like doing is going to a holiday party in January. For the love of god, I just got my Visa bill in mail totaling the results of Holiday Shopfest 2005. If that's not enough to take you completely out of a holiday mood, then nothing is.

When polled, several coworkers asked if we could just have money instead of the party. You know, like a holday bonus. Nope. We're determined to spend the money and make you happy the way we want, dammit, and you're gonna like. Or, not go.

So, about 95 people have RSVP'd that they would be there. Management now wants to send out an e-mail to everyone that if they sent in an RSVP and don't show, that they are financially responsible for their meal. So, let me get this straight: if I tell you I'm coming to the party, and my kid gets sick, forcing me to stay home, I have to pay for a crappy meal that I didn't want to eat in the first place? Behold, people! The genesis of a Dilbert cartoon!

So, it's set. The holiday party is going forward. To their credit, they have some cool prizes. The grand prize is two plane tickets to anywhere in domestic US. They are giving away a few iPod Nanos, and other miscelleous crap. It's bound to be fun, though the wife can't go this year because we can't get a babysitter for the new kid (in other words, her parents are busy that night). I'm thinking she doesn't really want to go anyway. Which is cool. I'm gonna hit it and make an appearance. Besides, I know the woman in charge of the drink tickets. (Can I get a Woohoo! from the kids in the back row?) And, you can damn sure bet I'm gonna eat my chicken cordon bleu.

-la

Another Brick in the Wall

2006-01-12T07:58:00.000-08:00

I've been suffering/recovering from a cold all week. The past few nights have been quick blurs of drug-induced sleep. Ah, better living through chemistry (screw you, Tom Cruise and the Scientologists you rode in on).

Of course, now it seems my wife is getting my cold. Like that wasn't inevitable. Despite my best efforts to keep my distance from both her and the kids, she's getting it anyway. I'm hoping the newest one doesn't get it, but I'm thinking he's doomed.

Still, I feel better today and I'm at work (and actually doing work...can't you tell?). I'm trying to get some things done around here this week while management is out of town. Next week, it's gonna be a freak show around here. The BIG BOSS is coming in for a few days. He's British, so you just know he's got a great sense of humor, likes to share his feelings, and is all warm and cuddly. Despite his warm personality, he hasn't been real big on the changes we've made around here the past month or so. We redesigned the entire office, built a training room, a new super-sized conference room, and a few new offices.

Oh, and I got a wall.

Yes, that's right. A wall. Not an office, just a wall that goes about 3/4 the way across the space where my makeshift cube used to be. Now, I have a pseudo-office. Why not a real office? There's this long-held belief at our corporate office that no one except those deemed worthy (read: management) are to have an office. Since I'm the IT guy for this branch office, I naturally have a lot of crap: computers, patch cables, printers, monitors, etc. Basically anything with a power cord.

My pseudo office is located right outside the VP's office, so it's in direct line of the suits that come in and out of the place. The first thing they always see is the load of crap that I have. I had been asked several times if I could just hide it. "Um, where?" I always ask. At that, they suddenly remember an appointment or a phone call they have to make and scurry off.

Yes, before you ask, I tried to get a full office, with a door and window and everything, but the aforementioned nice British man wouldn't allow it because lackeys of my diminished status at HQ would NEVER be allowed an office. So, I get a wall.

Now that my wall is constructed, several people have pointed out that since I don't have a door, that you can still see all my crap. At this point I usually take a breathe, count to ten, and resist the temptation to punch them in the face. Ever notice how people have a tremendous talent for pointing out the obvious?

As of this writing, the wall isn't quite finished. I'm tempted to tell the construction workers to cut out an order window so I can ask my coworkers if they'd like fries with that e-mail account. The wall will likely be finished today, they say, but if you ask me, until it has a door, it will never be done.

-la

To Pee or Not to Pee

2006-01-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's official now. I'm really a new Dad. Ok, true, RTC (Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy) was born 5 weeks tomorrow (damn!), but it's actually official now: he peed on me tonight. Ok, no big deal. I'm an adult, I can handle it. Lawd knows, I've handled worse. Still, there's something about that first baptism. I swear I heard a choir of angels and saw an ethereal glow...nope, wait, that was just the wet spot on my shirt.

So, I did what any adult would do in my position: I stripped and got in the shower.

About a half hour later, RTC was laying in his bouncy chair (a gift every new parent NEEDS...!) and I'm watching the Rose Bowl game and he lets loose with a screech as that made the cats run for cover. I look over at the wife and she says, ever so calmly, "I think he just pooped." Great...

"Ok, I got it," I say. She has to deal with this all day long. So, trying to be a good dad, and husband, I grab RTC, run a preliminary diaper diagnostic, and determine that has definitely had some output. By the time I get him to the bedroom and get his diaper off, he's finished downloading. Or so I thought. As I grab a wipe, he decides he has some more files to send. He produces enough data to prompt a yell to the wife, "Hey! Run in here! You're missing it...!" She comes rushing into the room.

"What?!?"

"Never mind, I think he's done. It was coming out like he was one of those frosting bags they use to decorate a cake..." She just gives me one of those looks. You know the one.

"What?" I ask, perplexed. She grabs the kid and walks out of the room. "Hmmph," I hear as she passes.

So, given all that, my status is now officially father of two: Spawn and RTC (other names include Pumpkinbutt, Houdini, and jellybean).

-la

Happy New Beer

2005-12-30T19:22:00.000-08:00

Well, 2005...ist kaput.

I'd do one of those Year in Review things, but man, everyone and their brother does something like that, so I thought that I'd remember all the good beers that I've tasted over this past year.

Let's see, I was introduced to a German beer called Kostrizer that was particularly awesome. My sister-in-law, who knows firsthand my fondness for the fermented hop brew, gave me another German beer (hmm, noticing a pattern developing here...?) called Pilsner Urquell for the holiday and it has a light, but slightly bitter aftertaste. It was great with my wife's homemade pizza. Then there are the usual suspects: Guiness, McEwans, Sam Adams (of course), Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, etc.

I'm going to branching out in 2006 and trying new brews. There are a few good places to get beer here in Oklahoma, but I'm thinking of exploring online to see what I can import. I ran across a site recently where I can buy good Scottish beers. If you know of any others that I should try, just let me know!

Anyway, HAPPY NEW BEER!!!!

-la

Aunty Em

2005-12-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's 12:15 in the blessed AM. What the hell am I doing up watching 'Twister' for the 101st freakin' time? This movie is bad, but bad like a train wreck: I can't take my eyes off it.

"That's not a moon, it's a space station!"

Ok, you know you're up late when a commercial comes on selling a collection of the 36 Ultimate Love Songs. Good god, I'm gonna have Michael Bolton going through my head all night.

Aaargh....!!!!

Trip Report

2005-12-28T19:38:00.000-08:00

Well, we've been out a few times now with the kid and he's been doing great. For the remainder of this entry, I'll call the kid 'RTC' which, of course, as everyone knows, stands for "Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy". My wife just loves it when I act his him and say, "I'm a rootin' tootin' cowboy, mama!" in my little kiddo voice.

We went out with some friends tonight. Actually, the couple we went out with are very cool. She's a med student who is brilliant enough to be the next Nobel Prize winner someday, and he's a drug rep who is also the lead singer and drummer for a popular local band around here in OKC. Oh, and he also dated my wife for a few years before she and I were involved. Now, most people might think that be a rather uncomfortable situation. But, I'm a pretty confident guy and I know that my wife chose to be with me for a reason (because, like Jack our cat, I tell myself, I'm so damn cool...yeah, right!) Anyway, I genuinely like this guy. He's very cool. So, we went to dinner tonight. They came over b/c they hadn't seen our new place and hadn't yet met RTC. Once all the formalities were over, we headed out to the restaurant (in separate cars...they live WAY south of the city and it take them about 45 minutes to get home) which was a good thing since I was getting hungry.

Dinner was great, the kiddo slept most of the time (except when my wife fed him) and the conversation and wine were great (and Australian Shiraz tonight...good stuff). We're home now and I'm still a bit buzzed as I type this, but I wasn't driving (I promise!) so it's all good. I told you this laptop would come in handy for more frequent entries! Woohoo! (Did I mention I was a bit buzzed...?)

Ok, I better go before I write something that will truly embarrass everyone.

Be well!

-la

Life Interrupted, Just Add Kid...

2005-12-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

...and holidays, and family, and work deadlines, etc. Yes, I've been away for quite awhile. Not surprising considering all that has occured, actually.

What's been going on? Well, mostly it has to do with the wife, her pregnancy, the arrival of the new kid, the late arrival of a Christmas tree, and three cats.

Still, that's a lot to work into one blog entry, so let's just do the all-important synopsis:

The wife had the baby. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a kick-ass APGAR score. All that you could want from a baby human. Damn, too, if he ain't cute. I mean it. Really.
When I was younger, my impression of newborns was that they all looked like a small Winston Churchill dipped in 40-wt. motor oil. I guess that's true of babies born naturally, because they are covered in all manner of goo. But, since he was a c-section, there wasn't as much muck. He came out wide-eyed and not too pissed. He's been pretty calm since, too. The only time he get's upset is when it's dinner time and he's hungry. Then again, so do I, so that's probably not a big deal.

I missed some friends' holiday party this year. I heard it was better than last year, too. But, for some reason, it just didn't matter whether I missed it or not. I was content to stay home with the wife and kiddos and call it a night.

I finally ordered myself a new laptop that I'm now using to type these entries. I got sick of waiting for work to buy me one, so I spec'd out one and ordered it. It's pretty kick-ass. Of course, I used the company discount. Merry Christmas to me.

My wife gave me an early Christmas present this year. A day or two before the Bringer of Presents delivered his packages, she brings home this pair of flannel pajama pants with witty sayings on them like "fruitcake or nuts: you decide", "'tis the season", "let it snow", "ride my sleigh". I thought the pants were humorous and went and put them on. They fit and felt great. She happened to mention off-hand that they were a bargain. The next day, I'm sitting and watching a movie with the wife, when I happen to look down and realized that some of the words were spelled wrong. One saying, should have been "where's the green bean casserole" was instead written "where's the green been casarole". I thought the fun would stop there, but then I found another. This one should have read, "chestnuts roasting on an open fire", but instead, my pants read, "chesnuts roasting on an open fire". Not a big deal, and certainly an understandable mistake, but coupled with the first one, made the whole situation hilarious. Needless to say, I got a lot of mileage off of her bargain that night at her parent's house.

Was Santa good to you this year boys and girls? I made out pretty well. Got some great gifts (yes, even the flannel pajama pants) and had a great time at the wife's parent's last night. Of course, I ate and drank too damn much. Had some great wine and cheese, good conversation with my brother in-law, some kick-butt gifts from my sister-in-law (thanks again for those Hornet's tix) and some quality time with Spawn this morning before he had to go back to his mother's.

So, all in all, it's been a good month.

Finally, I'm gonna wish you all a Happy New Year now (just in case things get crazy here....) But, starting next year (boy, that smacks of New Year's resolution if I ever heard one...) I'm going to be more regular about adding entries. And, getting in shape, and...

-la

Eet Mor Chikin

2005-11-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

Another Turkey Day is fast upon us. Spawn is going to be at his mother’s this year, my wife’s sister is out of town with her family, and my wife remains (what she would say) terminally pregnant. So, we’re going to the in-laws for the holiday. This will be relaxing, which is good, but I’ll likely eat too much (not so good). There’s bound to be football viewing involved, and a movie or two.

As I sat last night thinking about all of this, I was wondering why we celebrate Thanksgiving. I don’t mean just me and mine, but everyone. I mean, yes, we celebrate because of tradition. I get that. But, is it really necessary anymore? It seems to me the goal of Thanksgiving has morphed from being a day where we are thankful for our country, families, and whatever else to one of pure, honest-to-goodness, great horny-toads gluttony. And football. With pumpkin pie. And ice cream.

As I write this, it’s relatively quiet at the office. I’m doing my good deed for the day and prepping two ancient (read: Windows 95 era) computers to send to a charity. Everyone who’s left around the office has been asking me the same questions about what’s going on with me and the fam for the holidays. I think they ask in hopes that I’ll say something exciting like, “Well, Buffy, Momsie, and I are jetting to the Alps for much needed R&R, then we’re stopping in Milan for dinner. We’re hoping to be back stateside by Monday morn.” Somehow, what comes out is something more like, “Oh, not much.”

Actually, I’m glad this holiday is going to be low-key. I have some things I’ve wanted to get to for some time. And, even if I don’t end up doing them, at least I have the option.

It’s probably a good thing this will be a low-key holiday. Likely the last quiet holiday the terminally pregnant wife and I will have for some time to come.

Oh, very cool. My manager just called me and told me to “work from home” Friday afternoon. Wow, that’s almost a real 4-day weekend. Bonus.

Ruh-Roh, Raggy!

2005-11-23T12:25:00.000-08:00

The wife and I pulled into one of fav dinner spots last night and came across this:

It was pretty detailed, right down to the fuzzy, lime green dice hanging over the mirror.

The best part was the license plate:

-la

Flippin' Out

2005-11-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

I came across this on the net the other day. It's a pretty damn cool rig (from a science-geek POV) courtesy of the Scripps Institution of Oceanography.

Make sure you watch the video of the thing flipping over. Yes, there are people inside it when it goes. Sweet!

-scit (science geek in training)

Mind-Numbing Boredom, a Pair of Contortionists, and Honeybees

2005-11-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been driving me bat shit. I've been so damn busy that it's become frustrating. To give you an idea of how busy, let me just say that it’s Saturday and I’m at work writing this.

The frustration actually began this past Monday when my manager told me that I was to attend the upcoming manager offsite. I tried begging out with a tale of woe that included upcoming deadlines and promises made, but did my manager want to hear about that? No.

So, I was forced to make arrangements to attend. The organizers of this assembly had already changed the venue three times. I suspected a cluster*** in progress, and became more frustrated yet. As I attempted to prepare my presentation the day before the cluster*** began, I was inundated with a rash of requests for everything from meetings to a need for servers to be built and shipped, not to mention requests from another contract on which I work. When shit rolls down hill, folks, it builds up speed fast toward the end. This, of course, is where I’m usually standing.

The big day of the offsite came and we settled in for two days of presentations and information exposure. It was like drinking info from a fire hose, minus the nice minty flavor. Forward a bit to Friday afternoon. The meeting was supposed to end around 3:30. I have dinner plans at 5:30. The meeting doesn’t end, of course, until 4:30. By this time I’m scrambling to get the hell out of there and get home, shower, and change clothes to go meet our friends. I manage to make it home in record time (because there wasn’t as much traffic, honest, Officer!), perform the aforementioned duties, load the wife in the car, and take off back down to the city.

We went to our friends’ place for appetizers and cocktails and then we all loaded into the auto for the ½ mile trip down to one of OKC’s swankiest hip places called Nova. It's an eclectic restaurant. Or, as we say back East, “This was a classy joint.” Very chic, very big city. Good food and great martini’s too.

However, there was an issue at the end that threw us off schedule. The show we were going to see started at 8pm. At 7:30, I looked over and saw our waiter at the computer furiously tapping the touch screen and repeatedly swiping our card with an air of increasing frustration. Apparently they were having computer issues. After watching this for about 5 minutes, I got up and headed his way. I asked him if there was a problem and started to pull cash out of my wallet. He had written the card number down on a piece of paper and told me to sign it and they would enter it in later. Normally, I would object to something like this, simply from a security point of view, but we were in a hurry and so I asked the wife to sign. I was calculating the amount of time in my head it would take us to get to the Civic Center and I was coming up short.

Somehow, with fate on our side (honest, Officer!), we made the show with less than a minute to spare. It was close. And, we could have made it faster, but you just do not hurry a pregnant woman. Anywhere. For anything (except maybe food...oh, and having the baby). The best she can do is waddle fast, and I think even that makes her uncomfortable.

The show we saw, Cirque Dreams, was really cool. If you’ve ever been to Vegas to see Cirque de Soliel or seen Cirque de Soliel on television, then you know how good the acrobats and performers really are at what they do. One of the highlights of the show was this pair of contortionists. They were sisters from Mongolia who went to the Mongolian Circus School for contortionists from the time they were children. What they could do with their bodies seemed inhuman. I guess the best way to describe it is to compare it to Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four comic books.

After 10 hours of unadulterated sleep, I ate breakfast/lunch/whatever and headed to work.

Things were going fine. Until I actually got to work. I unlocked the main door and entered a foyer where you have to either swipe a card key or enter a PIN to get the damn door to open. I pulled my card out and gave it a swipe.

Nothing.

Again.

Nothing.

Shit.

After repeated attempts, I realized that it just wasn’t going to work no matter how many times I tried it. I whipped out my cell phone like a pistol and started dialing people. Some people have PINs. I'm just not one of them. The first two people I called didn’t answer. Shit.

Finally, I said screw it and called the big boss. I was here on a Saturday because of the offsite that the boss required I attend, so I figured I would place a call and see if I could get the boss’ code.

Ring.

No answer.

Ring.

No answer.

“Um, hello,” said a teenage girl-sounding voice. Lots of background noise can be heard.

“Is the boss there?”

“Um, hold on,” said the voice in that teenage angst-driven manner.

“Hello?”

“Hey boss, it’s me, Lex. I’m at work (because of you, I think) and I can’t get in. My key card isn’t working and I need to get some work done. Can you tell me your PIN so I can get in.”

“Who is this?”

(No, I’m not making this up.)

“It’s me, Lex. I need your PIN to get into work. I called several other people and no one is answering their phones.” It’s a good damn thing there’s not an emergency here, I’m thinking.

“Um, ok, it’s .” So, I tap it in and, damn, if it doesn’t work! I was skeptical even a PIN would work at this point. The system is so old I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t crap the bed pretty soon.

“Thanks, boss. See ya Monday!” and I hang up.

Which brings me to where I was when I started writing this. I slaved away all afternoon installing operating systems and other programs on these two big-ass servers. Finally, it was time to play a bit.

This next bit may seem a little surreal. My ex-wife’s husband invited me to go with him, my son, and one of my son’s friends to see the Hornets vs. the Dallas Mavericks here in OKC. Since the Hornets NBA franchise has come to town, going to the games is a big to-do. TK has season tickets (to select games only…he went in with some of his friends and they each get to go to an equal number of games) and he had an open slot and wanted to know if I wanted to go. Hell yeah!

Plus, it was good father/son time with the kiddo. We met for dinner and then went into the game. It was great. The kids had all manner of junk food and we had beer. Also, we were right in front of the Honeybees, the Hornet’s cheerleaders. It was fun watching them perform at halftime. ;)

Anyway, the Hornets lost, but gave the Mavs a hell of a run. At the end the score was 109 to 103.

In any event, a good time was had by all. I went home and collapsed and slept another 10 hours. Sunday involved watching Magnolia which I had never seen before and ticking off the list of honey-dos.

It’s too bad I didn’t have one more day. Some weekends I feel like I need an extra day to recover from the weekend itself. Damn, I hope that’s not a sign of getting old.

-la

Congratulations

2005-11-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

I wanted to say a congratulations to my brother-in-law who won an election tonight in his hometown. I had confidence that he would win, because he was actually already doing the job for which he was running, and doing it well, but with an election, you just never know until it's all said and done. You know, fat ladies and all that.

Anyway, this is a very cool thing and he deserves more than a few pats on the back.

I'm sure my sister is glad it's all over as well. She has been stressed about this for a long time and now she can take a breather before the real work begins.

Congrats to all!

-la

The Name Game

2005-11-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, why is it that EVERYONE asks me if we've picked out a name yet for the soon-to-be kiddo? It's almost as if they need to know in order to judge whether we'll be good parents or not.

I've gotten a bit tired of this. Even though it seems to be growing in frequency as the "big day" approaches.

I also just recently wrote to my friend L. She and I went to college together back in the day. She and her hubbie are expecting at the end of December. She's undoubtedly dealing with this phenomenon as well, so I wrote to her for advice. She hasn't responded yet, though I'm hopeful her wisdom will help me out here.

In the meantime, I've started playing the Name Game with people. Everytime people ask me what name we have picked out, I tell them with a completely stratight face, "Well, we have a short list, but my favorite is Moses. But, I also like Solomon, Izaiah (that's with a Z, mind you) and Adolf." I usually put that last one in just to throw them. Just when you think I'm going down that biblical road, WHAM! I get you with the Nazi reference.

Occasionally, I'll use the names of pets or cartoon characters.

-la

Update: L finally wrote me back and provided me a few suggestions and some good advice. She also directed me to a web site called Baby Names of Ireland which I found pretty useful to get some more ideas. The site provides phonetic pronunciations, which, considering the way some of those Irish names are spelled, really helps.

Of course, I think it helps even more to be knee deep in Irish whiskey when naming your kid.

-la (again.)

Star Wars Gansta Rap Special Edition

2005-11-03T11:19:00.000-08:00

Vader's in da hizzie!

Star Wars Gangsta Rap Special Edition*

Make sure to watch all the way to the end for some of that Leia hotness. ;)

-la

*Thanks for my buddy J for sending me the link.

In memoriam: Durango

2005-11-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

I'd like to pay tribute to Durango, also known around casa del Armenia as, "The Best Kitty Ever".

He passed from this world late Monday after a solid 16 years of loyal friendship to my wife.

When I moved into my wife's life and her house several years ago, Durango and I went round and round on who would hold the title of Alpha Male in my wife's eyes. I think I won out due only to possession of opposable thumbs and the ability to buy jewelry. However, that may have been unfair on my part. He was there for her through thick and thin WAY before I was part of the picture of her life. He was special, dear friend and a loyal companion to her. For this, I am grateful that he brought her so much joy.

I know now that he is in a better place, and I hope that if he has the power now to understand what I'm writing that he knows I loved him too and that he was one cool cat.

So, here's to Durango, (Mango Man, BOFT, the Best Kitty Ever)...may your bowl of kibble always be full.

So long, buddy.

-la

Flap A goes into Slot B...

2005-11-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

We got all of the damn baby furniture. I had to make THREE trips to a store called...get ready for this...Storkland (yes, it's a real store) to pick this stuff up. Only so much would fit in my auto at one time. Unbelievable. Now, it's all sitting in what will become the wee one's nursery. Well, not the last box that I picked up today. That one was so damn big that I had to wrangle my next door neighbor to help me get it downstairs. I just know that if had been a weekend, that little move would have cost me a six pack at least. My neighbor is a beer lover, to be sure. As he was leaving, he asked when I was going to put all of "the stuff" together.

And, the reason I have to put it together, is because the geniuses at Storkland (yes, I assure you, it's a real store) told the wife when she purchased all of "the stuff" that they would deliver it and put it together for a nominal fee. Totally fine by me. Picture my utter jaw-dropping display of incredulity (um, not) when they called to say "the stuff" was in but that the delivery person had left the company and they couldn't deliver it or put it together.

The real reason, I learned on, oh, I think it was trip number two, was that none of the remaining employees had a truck big enough to deliver "the stuff". Of course, my first thought was, "Go buy a damn truck...you're in the big and heavy box business!" But, of course, I held my tongue. It would be my luck that these guys would "just happen" to drop "the stuff" as they were putting it in my auto.

Where was I? Oh yes, my neighbor had asked me when I was going to put "the stuff" together. I sensed an opening, so I pounced with the ferocity of a polecat in heat. "Um, well, I was thinking this weekend. Whatchya got going? If you're in, I'll supply the pizza and cold BEER," I said, drawing out the word beer just ever-so-slightly. But, it was enough. He took the bait and now it appears that I might have not only him, but a buddy of his with power tools and knack for putting this kind of "stuff" together.

Stay tuned, sports fans. Things could get interesting around here.

-la

State of the Nation

2005-11-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about all of the stuff going on right now and thought I'd tell my vast audience about it. You know who you are...both of you. ;)

What I'm listening to (in iTunes) at the moment:
Baba O'Riley by The Who
Twisted Transistor by Korn
Stars by Switchfoot
DOA by Foo Fighters
Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects
Sugar, We're Goin' Down by Fall Out Boy
Hate by Fiction Plane
Never Ever by The Shout Out Louds

That last one by the Shout Out Louds is very cool, by the way. Kind of sounds like a cross between the Cure (from the Standing on a Beach/Staring at the Sea days) and some other obscure emo-rock band that I can't remember right now. What's in your player right now? Let me know...I'm always listening for a new band obsession.

Did I mention that I got a new guitar? I don't think I told about it. Yep, it's a Les Paul Classic. A co-worker sold it to me because he bought an Eric Clapton acoustic. It's a beauty, but I don't know if it's $1600 worth of beautiful. Anyway, I've been playing that A LOT. Very smooth.

-la

Opening Night

2005-11-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

The Spawn's class went and had their basketball practice at the Ford Center on just before opening night for the Oklahoma City Hornets, the Katrina-displaced NBA team from New Orleans. Here are some of the sights:

Are You Scared?

2005-10-31T18:36:00.000-08:00

Imagery from Halloween in Oklahoma:

Warthog Jump: A Halo Physics Experiment

2005-10-30T19:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a very cool physics experiment using the game Halo. I dig the perspective changes.

In case you haven't seen it, check this link out:

http://www2.mythica.org/halo/

Since this is a FTP site, scroll down the list and find the following file:

halo_warthog_jump_high.mov

Click to play or right-click to save.

Boo

2005-10-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

I've been overdosing on scary movies lately. Tonight, as I'm sitting here writing this, I'm watching Stephen King's Dreamcatcher which really isn't that good, but I have a weakness for his movies. I think it's because I love the books. The damn movies, though, just tend to suck out loud. The movie It was pretty good...well, it swore me off enjoying clowns the rest of my life. Not a bad thing, really. Pet Sematary was relatively creepy, though, once again, the damn book was better.

Tonight, the wife was begging me to watch the new version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. She wants me to watch it so she can delete it from the Tivo in the living room. But, maybe I'll save that for tomorrow night after the Spawn and I go trick-or-treating and hand out some candy to some ghouls and goblins. And, then, when I finally put him to bed for the evening, I'll settle in and tune into the gorefest. It would be a good way to wrap up the scary season for this year.

But, for tonight, I'm gonna watch Jonesy and Duddits save the world from the aliens.

The Italian Job

2005-10-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

Last night some friends paid a visit to Casa del Armenia to drop off a gift for the new arrival. The friends are headed to the left coast for a conference in SanFran and aren't going to be able to make the nasty little soiree that will be the couples baby shower this Friday eve.

As I was coming up the stairs from my lair (where I secretly plot to control the universe) I heard my wife exclaim, "Hey, they got a new car!" I flicked on the outside lights and went outside. There, in front of the house were my friends extricating themselves from a Mini Cooper.

When I first saw a Mini (before the Italian Job...the remake, not the original film) my initial reaction was that they were this small European auto driven by people who wanted act like they were living in Europe. Most likely in the outskirts of Paris, France.

But, as my friend told me more about the car, showed me how it was designed, and, especially after he took me for a ride in it, I suddenly wanted to own one. I felt a mid-life crisis coming on.

He bought the car for his wife, but he drives it more than she does, I suspect. And, they tricked it out with most of the options. This was one of the ragtop models, with heated seats, and the tres chic European styling that is slick. And yes, it made me feel like I was flying through narrow streets of Tuscany or in Pisa by the Campa dei Miracoli with the Leaning Tower in my rear view, my hair (or lack of) blowing in the warm summer breeze coming off the Tyrrhenian Sea.

It was the turbo model, too, which was VERY apparent when he pulled out on the main road and went from 0 to 60 in about 4 seconds. Then, suddenly, I was in the Italian Job, helping Marky Mark thwart the bad guys.

All of this in about a 5 minute ride. Just think of what it would be like to own one!

After the ride was over and our guests left for the evening, I rambled on about the car to my wife for about another 20 minutes. I think she was just humoring me, but she did say that if I was going to go get one, to let her know so that she could go with me to pick out the color.

Yes, we have a baby on the way. Is this practical? No, not really. But, man, it sure was a fun ride. Maybe when my mid-life crisis really hits, it's the Mini I'll go for and not the Corvette, like I have always planned.

-la

Update: My beautiful wife pointed out that I misspelled soiree, so I had to make that correction. My apologies to those with RSS readers.

"Help Me, Obi Wan..."

2005-10-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

I came across this today:

Which Fantasy/Sci-Fi Character Are You? and damn, if I'm not Obi-Wan Kenobi. The cool thing, is that I'm the young Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan and not the old Alec Guiness Obi-Wan. I guess that plays into me still being in the under-40 demographic.

So, which Fantasy/Sci-Fi character are you? Inquiring minds wanna know, so drop me a note.

-la

Damn Cool Illusion

2005-10-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Freaky deaky, kids.

http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/cool/cool_illusion.html

Teddy Scares

2005-10-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Another October weekend has come and gone around the Armenia household. The Spawn won his basketball game, I knocked back a few shots of ouzo at the local Greek Festival along with a pretty damn good gyro, and I watched a pretty wretched remake of The
Amityville Horror. It just wasn't scary. And, this time of year, I like to watch stuff that is scary, being the month in which we have the famous All Hallow's Eve.

I did get a chuckle out of the Mrs. when I walked into her office and she was watching her small TV with aplomb. She looked up at me and said, "Do you know what I'm watching? I hate to confess I've never seen this before...Friday the 13th!" Of course, I don't know what shocked me more....the fact that she was watching it or that she had never seen it before.

I had Tivo'd (when did that become a verb?) several episodes of Ghost Hunters and went to watch those while she finished her TPS reports or whatever she was doing. I figured I'd let her sit with her horrorfest for awhile.

When she emerged, she ranted about how shlocky the movie was. I told her, "Of course, it's shlocky now...that's a movie you have to watch in context. Contect being, oh, 25 years ago!" By the way, did you know that this is the 25th anniversary of Friday the 13th? And, do you remember that this was one of Kevin Bacon's first roles? And, for all you movie buffs out there, did you know that the movie studios are planning a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael Myers hackfest to be delivered to a movie screen near you sometime in the not-too-distant future? On top of it all, I heard that they are planning to remake the original Friday the 13th and then start remaking all of the FT13th movies. Gotta love it. Or not.

Keeping in the spirit (ahem) of the upcoming holiday, I thought it might be fun to get my, as yet, unborn son a present. I thought I'd get him a teddy bear. You might be thinking, "Aww...gee that's so cute!"

http://www.teddyscares.com/index.shtml

I think it's a cool idea. I could give it to the kid when he's being bad. "Ok, insert future baby name here, if you don't behave, you'll be sleepin' with Rita Mortis tonight!"

Hey, parenting is tough. You gotta be creative sometimes.

-la

First Person Shooter Level Name Generator

2005-10-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Having been an aficionado of first person shooters, this name generator appealed to me. Check out the link:

http://www.corknut.org/toys/levelname/

-la

Other Places Jimmy Buffett Wasted Away*

2005-10-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Slipperynippleberg

Jelloshootersdale

Bloodymarysfield

Jägermeisterplatz

Frozendaiquiriland

Cubalibratown

Boilermakerstad

eastmojitoham

*In honor of my sister-in-law, the Buffett fan.

-la

Entropy

2005-10-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

"A tendency towards disorder within a closed system, as potential energy gets "spent".
Sounds about right for what happened last night. I had hung a picture in the dining room that the wife had just had beautifully framed. Originally, she started to put it up on just a nail, and I'm thinking, "Um, no."

So, I told her to get some of those picture hanger things. With the size of the picture and just by
"eyeballin'" it, I figured it can't weigh more than 20-30lbs.

She got the hanger and I dutifully banged it into the wall and hung the picture.

Then, at 2am this morning, I hear a loud "CRASH!" I thought at first that it was something cat-related because A) I woke out of a hard sleep, B) I couldn't determine if it was upstairs or downstairs, and C) it usually is.

She beat me to it, but I heard her say as I leapt up the stairs that it was the *&#$!&$ picture, and to watch the glass!

The new frame was pretty much toast, and the picture itself got a good scratch on it too. We made short work out of cleaning it up and no cats were harmed during the process. Jack tried to check it out, but got immediately booted. Which in his mind likely translates as, "Hmm...he must mean business..." So, he scampered off.

When it was all said and done, I looked up at the hanger, expecting the sheet rock to have crumbled away. But, it hadn't. The damn hanger had just bent under the weight and let the picture crash to the ground. They were rated for up to 40lbs. You can bet I'm gonna weigh that thing tonight to see how heavy it is. Well, minus all the glass.

Entropy? I got yer entropy right here...

-la

The Bubble Project

2005-10-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

This is cool. This guy took empty "thought bubble" stickers and placed them all over NYC, then he went back and photographed the results of what people had scribbled on them. Funny and interesting. It's also a great social commentary on what people are thinking.

Click da' link:
http://www.thebubbleproject.com/

animals have problems too

2005-10-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

This is really funny in an animal self-actualized sort of way. Check out the Archive and make suggestions for new and improved animals.

animals have problems too

P-whipped

2005-10-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

Yep, I knew it would happen. See what I had to deal with when I got home last night:

Ok, to her credit, the thing has a ton of personality. And, it scares the hell out of Teekers, who, by the way is almost 4 times her size. For some reason, he just does not like the thing.

Mango is indifferent, as I suspected he would be.

Jack (because he's SO DAMN COOL) has taken a shine to the wee one. Either that or he's waiting for an opportunity to eat her whole. I haven't decided yet.

-la

The Zoo

2005-10-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

We had beautiful fall weather in OKC this past weekend. Got out and communed with nature for awhile (read: the wife made Spawn and I go dig weeds out of the flower beds and dig holes to plant mums, etc.)

Still, it was good to be outside. After following the many orders of the getting-to-be-very-pregnant wifey, we ordered some Mexicano food from Ted's. Spawn and I went to fetch and deliver. Good stuff, of course. Can't do better than Ted's for Mexican around here. About an hour of resting and digesting, Spawn and I decided to go for our occassional nightly run. We took another route this time, which was nice for me. I think he just saw it as harder work because instead of running the familiar neighborhood loop, we did a straight run down a side run. The problem with this is you can look way ahead to see how far you have to go, and mentally, it might seem like you have ALL THAT WAY to go. When, in reality, it's about the same distance. But, he did it and didn't complain too much, so I was proud of him for the effort.

While waiting for Spawn to take his shower before bed, the phone rang. I answered and it was the wife's sister. She told me that they had rescued a 4-6 week old kitten and that it would make a great addition to our family. Um, no. I handed the phone to the wife. I'm opposed to it, but I can tell from the look on her face when she hung up that we may own a new cat by the time I get home from work tonight. That would make four cats, people. Four. Three is tolerable. Four makes you those crazy cat people down the street. Oh, and don't forget the new baby that is due on December 1st. See, the issue here is that the wife is VERY pregnant and is nesting. She's been reading all these baby magazines, too. Anything that is baby-like (re: kittens) makes her judgement, well, not what it should be. Of course, this is the same woman who has been known to cry at commercials if they are sappy enough. I've seen it. Honest.

After Spawn went to bed, I sat down and watched a C-movie from the SciFi channel. Watching movies on SciFi is like opening Forrest Gump's box of chocolate...you're just never sure of what the hell you're going to get. Most times, it's something you don't like even though you thought you might. I guess there was a time about 20 years ago when I was a teenager that I might have found Dungeons and Dragons 2: Wrath of the Dragon God a compelling movie. Apparently, my tastes have matured somewhat. All I can say is that Tivo = a good thing.

While in the middle of the this epic film (sic), Teekers started chasing a moth that had gotten in the house. Well, it was about 10 seconds later that Jack apparated out of nowhere ('cause he's SO DAMN COOL) and took to the task. He needed assistance to get to higher ground, but once he had that, he was in full-on hunt mode. It was less than 5 minutes later and he had bagged himself a moth.

Gulp.

Wake Me Up Before You Cocoa

2005-10-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

It's cold here in OKC tonight. A cold front has moved on down from the north and it dropped damn near 30 degrees in about an hour yesterday. I've got the fireplace going and the heat is cranked up. It's nice and cozy in the house.

So, I'm sitting here writing. Where should I be instead? Well, I should be out running and, as a co-worker of mine says, "gettin' my sweat on". But I have no motivation. A cup of hot chocolate and bed sounds really good, too. Yet, all I wanna do is sit and surf das internets and read about how Donald Trump and Regis Philbin sing duet on some new CD. Lovely. (insert sarcasm here...)

On a completely unrelated note:

Hey, how many Wallace & Gromit fans are out there? Are you as excited as me that the Curse of the Were-Rabbit is finally here? Nick Park sure knows how to entertain. The guy must be constructed of nothing but patience to make a claymation film. Spawn and I will likely be going to see that one together. I got him hooked on W&G when he was but a wee lad. And, maybe we'll take along some cheese to snack on, too.

-la